captured thoughts

2011-12-30T00:21:00.002+08:00

Le Temps Passeras Tres Vite!

*count my blessings!

I realised my last post was on 1.8.2011. That's like uber far back in time! How time truly flies!

It's gonna be the start of a New Year in 2 days! I need to get my list of NYRs (New Year Resolutions) done soon.

Well, some pieces of good news:

1) Croatia, here I come in 2013!

2) Thank you, Lord for blessing me with a second major in Political Science! Now I need your help in my studies more than ever.

3) 0.03 CAP improvement :) But I believe I am capable of better!

4) Finally saw dear Al at P's early xmas party and Al drove me all the way home:)

Recently, I have been thinking a lot about the things that happened over the year - the tears and pespirations; the smiles and laughter...looking back, 2011 is indeed a memorable year that pricks me. I am looking forward to 2012 with a huge grin on my face because I want things to be good the coming year. I want to shine like the stars in the universe, I want to be ME, the best I can ever be,I want to love God and obey His Word more than I have ever done. I want to learn to keep counting my blessings and motivate myself in terms of academics, physicality, mental strength whatever. I want to be a blessing to others and develop good sensibility as I turn 21. So many things I want to achieve. I know I can do it, with God's help. (that's the one line I'll never forget from reciting the prefects' pledge in junior school).

Anyway, pardon me for all these rambling and incoherence (I think). I'm far too tired to think straight and logically. Handling the SMUN'12 Sponsorship Director is such a HUGE handful! But i will fight on!!! So with that AT 12:45AM on my wall clock, I bid the world farewell and goodnight! I will be back with a New Year post! (Hopefully, if I can find pockets of time like this!)

cheers&love

2011-08-01T23:55:00.003+08:00

Even If.

*there's no right or wrong. Life is a shade of gray.

Love Bites.

Companions.

Not friends.

Different.

Best ftiends?

Yeah, why not right?

2011-07-30T10:57:00.002+08:00

Rough Waters.

*you'll always have a special place in this world. it's in my heart.

Why are heartaches always so hard to remedy? Nobody has the answer to this. Nobody but God. Why is it that man has to hurt his fellow man? Why must this pain and hurt take so long to recover? It takes 5 minutes to hurt a person but it takes a year for the wound to heal. Why?

The past 2 months will be dearly treasured. I'll take them with me wherever I am. They say first loves always have a special place in a woman's heart. There's no doubt about that. The 7 month break was enough for me to handle. I'm not angry with you for doing this because love ain't selfish. I hope your Japanese fiancee will come and marry you soon enough. But please don't invite me to your wedding. I'm just wondering now where I am - in your mind? in your eyes? in your heart? or not there at all. Cos after all, we're being reduced to just being friends. I pray there'll come a day when I can call you and say I don't love you anymore. I'm just waiting for that day. But do you know, waiting is so painful?

The watch you gave me, the piece of jade, the one and only letter you wrote and all the animal souvenirs... ... they remind me too much of you, too much. I have entertained the intention of burning all of them, but they are really just too precious to me. I just want to hold your hand once more and touch your face once more....that's all I'm asking for. It's so hard. Maybe what she said was right that I'm lonely and perhaps desperate for somebody to love and to love me. Just that I have always been in self-denial. July 29, 2011 was the day that this denial made itself clear to me.

Friends? Yes, def. I still want to keep in contact with you. You owe me too much, too much. All the things I did, remember, I did it purely out of love. Not obligation or for selfish interests, purely out of love. & yes, I still love you bunnny.

2011-05-26T10:47:00.002+08:00

A Toast to You

*i forgot how it all started, but i'll never forget how it ended.

I was looking at our past photos. we had so much fun, laughter and drama, of course. It was one hell of a thrill ride. It was fun. It was cool. And I treasured everything we shared. I thought we were gonna be invincible, inseparable.

But well, God just loves to spring surprises at us. No matter how much we've contributed, this is the reality we humans have got to face. Sometimes, some give more, while others give less. But who is to really say who has given more or given less. I sure am in no position to do so, for each bond that has been constructed, I treasure them all. If it's gonna be a mutual release, why should i continue to grip onto something that ain't hopeful already.

Baking. Cookies. Cupcakes. Bread. Yadayadayada. They are definitely not an indication of my guilt. No. Never. Instead, they represent my love and care for those around me. I want these people to be happy. But many a time, your wants are being overlooked and things cannot always go the way you want them to. That's a fact (too). Gulp it down like a man, even if you're a woman. It's hard to get used to it, to the idea, to the non-presence, but eventually I will.

Someone once told me, "I won't be in your life forever". But i would like to say, even if that person/persons wont be in my life forever, they'll still be kept in my heart, even when i'm dead and gone. You guys are dear to me. The recent spade of events has caused a huge, perhaps devastating eruption to the normality that we once embraced. Everything is changing. Everything has changed. But the fact still remains that we had good times together, only now that the real truth has been unveiled that I finally realized that I was colorblind.

cheers&love

2011-04-21T21:13:00.003+08:00

one cross + three nails = 4given

*remember, he died for you, and me.

i was browsing a friend's blog and realized how vivid her life was. like she told 'le monde' what she was doing, how things were with her and her friends. my blog pales in comparison to her. it's as if she has more friends than i do. it's as if she's got a LIFE, and me, what LIFE do i have? it's studying and taking the train to nus and bus-ing back and forth, back and forth. and on weekends when everybody sleeps in, i'm up early at amk,waiting patiently for 138 to send me to mandai for work. it's not that i find it troublesome, it's because i like it. even without a LIFE, i still have a place on weekends where people create messes for me to clear up, where people throw adult tantrums at us, where the smile on the faces of toddlers just make our day! i love my colleagues cos we're crazy and we share the same sentiments generally even if we do not explicitly display them. <3

i'm just wondering the kind of life i'd be living, having such freedom to party out late, having the same number (and assuming same closeness that we share). i'm just thinking if my life's really all too boring and whether i'm taking things too seriously. or am i leading my life the right way? the God-centred way? i'm thinking if my life would be different if someone loved me and spent his nights with me. i'm just thinking if i were close to my friends living overseas, what kind of life would i be living right now? it's the midst of exams and revisions but i can't help but be posed with such seemingly simple, yet unfathomable questions at this instant. it's on the spur of the moment. my future possibilities are never-ending. what tomorrow will bring, what the day after tomorrow will bring, who can say? we can draw up plans but eventually, nobody has the power to take things into his own two hands for there's a higher Being in control of everything. it is thus my prayer that i shall find comfort in the unknown, cos we never know whether it's good/bad, happy/sad. it is also my prayer that He sends an angel into my life to watch over me and accompanies me on the go. it is also my prayer that this angel loves me for who i am and for my love for Him. it is my prayer that my possibilities are infinite and nobody will ever define what I am capable of doing and learning. it is my prayer that hope finds the hopeless. it is my prayer that love finds the unloved and hatred leaves the hurt.

and tomorrow, we shall commemorate Jesus's passing on the cross for our sins. it's somehow inappropriate here to convey religious messages and I shall only thank Him and let Him know that i'll be celebrating Easter when He resurrects! yeeehaawww(: i'mm get some easter eggs/bunnies for my kids at church.

cheers&love

2011-03-10T09:28:00.002+08:00

& this pisses me off.

*it's like i don't even know you.

i've got some time left before my first lecture. i thought i'd just post something today.

my wishes for everybody today: i hope your week has been awfully well, it's friday tmr! so don't look so down. everyday is a chance to do something new, something fun, something right. we can never be perfect, but we can do things to help us feel well, to brighten our day and impacting the lives of others. we can always make a difference in the lives of others and ourselves too! no matter what, keep looking forward, never back. it's hard but we all got to try. life's too damn short to wallow in sadness. all that shit about 'we must fight for happiness', don't. you can try finding it, but don't keep your hopes high. most importantly, you got to trust and have faith. (:

okay, gotta run now folks.

cheers&love

2011-03-06T21:26:00.002+08:00

Stronger.

*cos i never knew.

& because i never knew, the knowledge of it hit me in my face. the weight of it was just too much to handle. on top of it, other issues reeled itself into my hands. I try to suppress, but found myself unable to do so. it was just too immense. my guilt and shame, oh how i wonder how i could have done that. i am so ashamed of myself. my fear of hurting others has resulted in me actualizing such an act. i am in pain. but, i've got nowhere to turn to cos i don't want them to carry my burdens along with them. they have their own situations too. i want to drink, consume myself in liquor, but found no will power to do so. if only i was stronger. i don't want to fall into pits anymore and get trap and expect a kind soul to pull me out of it. i don't want to walk down History road and repeat the same mistake i had made. as conflicting as it may be, i just want to try. forcing myself to unthink the things i have thought...i wouldn't say it'd be impossible but they have already been thought and set free, into the air, into someone's ears, into my heart. i want to run, run away from the reality of this life i'm living. it's tormenting. what a pity. life is great but, there are always buts, and you get stuck cos there is no concrete explanation for these buts. no, i am not desperate. i just want to run away from all of these.

2011-02-17T12:43:00.002+08:00

Dogs & Cats, They Have Families Too

*this is home surely, where i know i must be.

it has been long, like really long. have been busy with school and guess what it's mid-sem already! mid-sem break's just 2 days away(: thank God.

i guess i must be one of those suakus who still use blogger instead of wordpress or livejournal. but well, i'm considering changing to wordpress! finally, i know. paul showed me snippets of how wordpress works. pretty impressive, i must say. well, anw, so many things have gone on the past few months. pretty exciting things coming up too! gee(:

cny 2011 was pretty much family oriented as always, but this time toward's mom's side. our short getaway to KL did us much good through family bonding and we got to play mahjong more this round! not much shopping tho): nvm, there's always december sales. work at mandai has pretty much been confined to saturdays only, thought more often than not, i try to spring surprises on my beloved parveeneh and shifu(: <3>

anyhow, so far, that's that. i hope i can blog more often tho): school's eating up only 18 hours per week! (me and paul counted yesterday night) ahh well, until next time then folks(:

cheers&love

2010-12-01T01:27:00.003+08:00

Opened Doors

*yknow, you're really hard to forget:/

maybe all these time i have been deceiving myself, placing myself in a reality that i didn't want to face. thinking about it tonight, i feel delusional. i lull myself into something even i am not aware of and afraid to confront. it's not that i don't want to forget you, my willpower's not that strong. i'm in a quandary.

no longer am i mad at you. has been for a long time. i tried to hate you but i just couldn't. not in a bones and blood to do so. to forgive is to be divine, like God. He forgives our sins. i'm thankful. are you? as nasty as you may be, it's (probably) precisely this quality that makes you so attractive. maybe i have not fallen for you, but for your naughtiness, your imprints and your xxx. suction force, pulls me into your arms and i can't help but think back.

tears. my my, they fall easily. jealousy. a feeling that seeps in unnoticeably. why, yknow, i just want to know why i feel this way. i thought i was void of feelings for you already but no, no, i am wrong. wrong.

puffy eyes, messy hair, my comfort zone; they should bring me to sleep but somehow they make me stay awake tonight. somehow, don't ask me. sleep should do the trick but it won't solve the problem when night falls again the next day. preoccupation. helps to a certain extent but again, won't nip the problem in the bud. so, tell me, what will?

"Remember! I will always be there when you need me!"

where does this place me when the old woman comes? huh? why do i even care in the first place? why should i care? why does this affect me a great deal? why? she is probably better than i am, physically. why am i so jealous that she gets to go overseas with you? my imagination runs wild. i can only stand and stare at that sight. i want to be numbed.

my happy appearance is a facade altogether. c'est tres sympa cos people are being deceived by me. i'm a big fat, not to mention ugly liar. to myself and to the world.

finis

2010-11-13T23:59:00.002+08:00

Russian Roulette

*said i'm terrified, but i'm not leaving.

sigh. life's complications. fascinating.

Iris has her T problems and I have my T problems too. we're on par: she doesn't know about me and I don't know about her. As a consolation, I can take comfort in the fact that I'm alone in all of this. There are other friends on board the same ship as me. we gotta be strong together babes!

so many things happened in the span of the last 12 weeks. i've been consumed: by school work, *** and now tests:/ the finals. are here. one more week. sigh. i can only pray.

"consider us not friends, but companions(:" I so love this. It's sweet(:

nightnight world.

mon coeur est vous manque):

cheers&love

2010-10-29T07:38:00.003+08:00

welcome to my life.

*the tears that i fall, they mean nothing at all, it's time to get over yourself.

geez, it has been exactly ONE month since I last blogged. oh heavens! I must be really busy either that or too lazy to blog.

well, anyway, one month has been...one hell of a month. I've seen a failed romance in the making, meeting project deadlines, juggling precariously to finish homework and relax, getting back disappointing results etc. but well, the term's ending soon and i want to end it well. I can't wait for term 2 to begin so that I can get back on my feet and be the enthusiastic me as before. in the name of a good testimonial/profile, aside from academics, i shall aim to pursue certain faculty/ uni-wide activity and be part of it.

main goals:

1) to do well in tests/projects/assignments - esp. from sem 2 onwards

2) to be active in church - children's ministry, here I come!

3) to be active in school - for the sake of a good profile

4) to continue working in the zoo with the friends that i have made cos i really love them.

5) to save up for a student exchange/immersion programme/ a backpacking trip to Europe! (:

anyhow, october was one of the toughest period in 2010. I'm thankful for friends like mok, jones and bestfriend(: for being there. I am sorry I lied t you about everything, jones/mok. but i really didn't mean to and things yknow detoriated. I had no choice but to speak the truth. I hope you guys won't blame me for being like that, or change your perception of me for that matter. I'm a 180% now. Improving little by little. thanks for being there & i <3>

& bestfriend(: if you ever read this, thanks for always keeping a lookout for me. yknow even tho we are all busy, we never fail to warm each other up with our stories. i'm sorry for making you worried and i hope this lesson will sting me so that i will remember.

thanks y'all.

to many better days ahead, and to mok,jones, bestfriend(: & myself, The One will find each of us soon enough. we've had enough of rotten eggs, God,do come bless us. thanks(:

cheers&love

My Valentine

2010-08-28T01:18:00.000+08:00

Never Leave You Lonely

2010-08-28T01:15:00.000+08:00

I Miss You - Jenson + Lyrics

2010-08-28T01:13:00.000+08:00

The Truth- Daniel D.

2010-08-28T01:11:00.000+08:00

Cherish Every Moment - Daniel D (Lyrics)

2010-08-28T01:09:00.000+08:00

daniel d - ill be your everything w/ lyrics

2010-08-28T01:07:00.000+08:00

2010-08-19T23:09:00.004+08:00

Sometimes, Reality is Really Just Shit

*that's why sociologists claim that opposites never really attract.

well, perhaps sometimes, somethings, you never know when they unexpectedly spring up on you. queer things, queer people. it's kind of scary actually. really. I'm afraid now. I hate it that you think life seems quite all right then one night you realize, hell no. what is this world coming to! why why & why. I can't seem to understand this world. I can't seem to understand myself.

when I read amanda's wordpress, I was just in awe of her. like the 'I wish I was her' feeling. goodness, her brains, thought processes, vocabulary bank. like she stole all the jewels from a jewelery shop! admiration. I really really want to write and think like her (tho sometimes I feel like she also doesn't give a hoot about things in this world).**there's something seriously wrong with ntu students. like they are intelligent creatures really, but they haven't got a heart. they are brutally blunt and that what makes them dumb. we are all entitled to our own opinions aren't we?

well anw, I can't be bothered anymore with people like that; people who want the whole wide world to hate them. that's terribly, utterly _________. I can't find a suitable adjective to fill in the gap (as yet). but insane people like that, I pity them. I feel so damn sorry for the plight their in. whether they enjoy it or not, these people really, they have NO LIFE. so much for loneliness = happiness and freedom. well yeah, to some degree. but I'm strongly for the fact that in this world, despite whatever tragic people or events there are, hope lingers to give LIFE to happy, lovable people like the rest of us. I am not discriminating. Just making a clear distinction between sunshine and rain clouds.

cheers&love

2010-08-18T11:02:00.002+08:00

& So It Seems

*I wanna do things I wanna do. period.

once again, hi my world, it feels good to be back somehow. you know like when you have no other place to go, there's just this imaginary world you can look too for a brief respite from the fuzzy buzzy wuzzy-ness of life. all the shit life throws at you, sigh, this world is my avenue to spell it all out.

past few months, since June has been great. hanging out with zoo friends, preparing for life in the University, D's back - for good. Well, I don't really mean to be so mean, but sometimes I wish that D wasn't here. Like my life wouldn't be so controlled now. worry-freak I should like to say it. ahh well, my life still goes on. anw, got myself stuck in some sticky situation which well, only some relatively close friends in the zoo know about so, I'd be careful about how I put it in words here. I just well, sigh, nevermind, the complexities of the situation make it hard to even type it all out. But in any case, I'm fine all right. Just well, because of that, I've been thinking a hell lot these days. And ughhh, the rain now, emo time, here I come (soon, after this I suppose). gosh.

well folks, all my muslim friends are having their fasting month. & this awesome friend of mine (btw, she's chinese) fasted for 4 days straight! in admiration of her determination. that's cool. I kind of decided too to fast, but like once a week la. they were terribly upset when I told them I fasted last Sunday. seriously like 'wth'. c'mon, despite the fact that my friends do it because they have to, I do it out of my own will. I hate that you are so damned f*cking racist and they way you condemn my friends, it's like saying they are were-beasts, unleashed only at nightfall. & when I stand up for them, you put me down. just because you don't know them doesn't mean you have the RIGHT to say that of the friends that I have made. FYI, didn't you guys know that all men are born equal?!? I must also add this - regardless of age, race and religion. seriously, why, why must you guys be like that. I didn't want to see you guys as bad guys, ruining my life, but you don't trust me ever, and well, what else can I say? right. In advance, prolly in the next few years or so, trust that I will turn wild and do things I want to do. You guys have no right to dictate me anymore. So much for the 'anyone at 21 years of age is considered a legal adult'. sigh, what a stupid rule imposed. oh bother.

I guess enough has been said, for now. & awesome friend, you're making me worried & I feel so bad! hope you've sorted things out already & you're free & raring to do things you wanna do. see you soon then. anw, I better get going to. I have loads of readings to sort out and file, and read and I have to visit the library to return my books and visit the bookstore to get some stationery...sigh. ahh well, but kind of excited about tmr cos I will be visiting S.A.M!(: for a film exhibition. can't wait(:

so till next time folks, many happy days ahead! <3

cheers&love

2010-06-21T22:01:00.002+08:00

It Could Be My Last Time Here):

*but it could be my very first chance as well

let me now bid farewell to hkg): bye my friend, I'll be back next time to see you again, you bet I will. but thanks for being so hospitable the past week. I really appreciate that. And many thanks going out to my dearest dad and momma(:

Throughout the week, there has been so many images captured in my memory - from the crowds on the streets that line Central to the cute ang mohs I've seen on the trains (& there was a very cute one at the cable car station!) to the scenic views of hkg, be it from the peak or the cable car or wherever to everything else that made this hkg trip absolutely special! (& once again, many heartfelt thanks to my wonderful papa for spending a very wonderful father's day 2010 together!)

& now that I'll be returning to work in few days...quite sian actually, but I am more or less recharged to serve guests and I hope I will feel better and happier(: or rather, I hope I will smile more than before. anw, currently watching the chile-switzerland world cup match & my eyes...ooh they wanna close...

so till next time folks, have awesome days ahead(:

cheers&love

2010-06-17T17:48:00.002+08:00

babe,i.l.u <3

*you keep the sunshine comin' thru

I finally watched 'Dear John' yesterday! happy only & john & savannah are so bloody compatible. I like john's body...wahahahaha, so tall, so muscular. omg, clara stop it ah, stop it. gross shit am I.

we, as in my cousin & I, are currently in shock. we just saw discovery travel and living, hosted by a somewhat bimbotic woman and before signing out, she just stripped in front of everybody on the beach. omg, where in the world is this thing called modesty??? for Christ's sake, please.

so anw, about the movie 'Dear John', some takeaways that I had from this... well, first and foremost, love comes unexpectedly. Unexpected love is well, exciting in nature. Besides, the greatest love of all happens when you can't voice out your reason for doing something. Although I didn't cry as much as I thought I would, the scene where savannah & john were having dinner after visiting cancer-stricken tim really strikes my emotional chords. savannah went like,"...because hearing your voice just makes me want to change my decision!" omg, how sweet but depressing at the same time. It's deceptive love - savannah's 'love' for tim. really felt bad for john then):

I guess I'll be watching another movie tonight... shrek forever after? hahahaha, idk yet. me v v hungry now. gonna meet pups soon! later!(;

cheers&love

2010-06-16T22:00:00.003+08:00

hullo world, i missed you v v much

*& the tears that I fall mean nothing at all

<3>

hullo hullo hullo(:

jolly glad to be back yo! finally my one week break from serving guests and facing the shit attitude from 'guests'. But I can't wait to see my friends again! hate the roster coz it's 5 days straight of service once I'm back):

well anyway, i'm sorry this is such a short post but yours truly is really tired out by all the walking x___x so if you please excuse me...

xoxo

2010-05-20T10:08:00.003+08:00

Little Wonders

*the tears that I fall mean nothing at all

you know, having worked at the place that I am working for 4 months now, I don't know if I've become immune to certain things, or like it has become something mandatory that I wish for. I find myself asking my colleagues whether they want to have children, whether they want to get married and whether they would marry or fall in love with someone of different race. There are many married couples of the same race, like Caucasians-Caucasians, Chinese-Chinese, Malay-Malay etc. But then there are those unions between Caucasians-Chinese, Caucasians-Filipinos, Chinese-Indian etc. And it is these interesting unions that make me wonder if such a fusion of cultures and race is what God wants for me, coz it is something that I'm believing in Him for. Well, i do not know if it is too early to think about marriage and children now. I mean,come on la, I'm only 19. The usual and stereotypical age for people to get married and engaged would be say 25-27? So I guess I still have 6 - 8 years left of my life to follow the stereotypical path of falling in love, date, get married & have children. I don't know why I am thinking so much, perhaps it is the inner side of me that longs for someone who I can trust and provide me security with. But I guess God has His own plans for me. He probably wants me to be patient and wait. So meanwhile, I should probably make the best out of the remaining time I have to myself and brush up on my Night Safari script right away. Another avenue to get my mind off the complexity of such issues...

so to everyone out there, have an awesome day ahead!(:

cheers&love

2010-04-16T17:27:00.003+08:00

All At Once, I Had It All.

*but it doesn't mean anything, since you're gone

Used to dream of being a millionaire, without a care
But if I’m seeing my dreams, and you aren’t there
’cause it’s over
that just wont be fair
darling,
rather be a poor woman living on the street,
no food to eat,
cause i don't want no body if i have to cry.
cause it's over
when you said goodbye!

all at once...
i had it all
but
it doesn’t mean anything
now that you’re gone
from above seems i had it all
but it doesn’t mean anything
since you’re gone

now i see myself through different eyes,
it's no surprise!
being alone will make you realize
when it's over!
all in love is fair I shoulda been there, I shoulda been there, I shoulda shoulda.

all at once...
i had it all
but
it doesn’t mean anything
now that you’re gone
from above seems i had it all
but it doesn’t mean anything
since you’re gone

I know I pushed you away
What can I do that would save our love
Take these material things
They don’t mean nothing
Its you that I want
All at once...
I had it all
But it doesn’t mean anything
Now that you’re gone
From above,
Seems I had it all
But it doesn’t mean anything
Since you’re gone

All at once...
I had it all
But it doesn’t mean anything
Now that you’re gone
From above,
Seems I had it all
But it doesn’t mean anything
Since you’re gone

when you lose somebody, you lose everything. it's like something in you is missing, you need him to fill that gap, or you would feel funny the whole day. it's like you routinely wait for him and then you get used to it and suddenly, he's gone, and you don't have to wait for him no more. it's tragic, isn't it? you feel like crying but you know that you deserve someone better. why should you even care then about him? but it's because he first cared about you.

2010-04-13T01:32:00.002+08:00

It's 0200!

*deep breath, & then I plunged.

Not knowing the dangers that were imminent, I decided to be brave for once, to take risks and chances, to give myself an opportunity to learn and to grow. I pray I won't emerge mentally bruised,but who knows. I just sad that the two worlds are so far apart that the intimacy of it is lost and only to be found till we meet. Something in my heart tells me not to believe what you've told me, but the other half says, " go on, believe." Like i mentioned earlier, I pray dearly that I won't be mentally, emotionally, physically bruised at the end of the day.

Life is indeed like a box of chocolate,you never know what you're gonna get. If i may add, you never know what you're gonna get until you take that leap of faith to stretch out your fingers and try a piece of chocolate. It may not be something you like, for example, marzipan, but there's still this tinge of sweetness in it no matter what. perhaps, marzipan is an acquired taste that takes time to develop and gradually one may fall in love with it.

Give it some time,there's no need to rush. for now the savor those few sweet moments and relish in the joy of their memories!(:

12 April 2010

cheers&love

2010-04-08T23:00:00.002+08:00

Looking Through The Looking Glass

*do you see what i see?

Sometimes, facebook may be the most awesome thing on earth! Like it allows you access your friends'pages, see how their doing, the new friends that they make, yadayadayada. But on the flipside, sometimes, you find them doing so well that you also wish you had fun times like they do. you sometimes wish that you had more photos uploaded and tagged under your name. it's like you're jealous, but you deceive yourself, that you're so much better off and hell, you're not jealous AT ALL. but what's the whole point of lying to yourself when inside you it hurts so damn much? shouldn't we make ourselves happy? shouldn't we enjoy our lives as it is? why stuff your mind w crap that's unhealthy? anw, i think, maybe life's just really unfair to everyone of us. some of us have it better, like we have food on our table, cupboards, fridge everyday, we get to go on vacations, we are financially equipped to satisfy our wants. On the other side of the beam, there are those who starve for days w/o water or food, those who do not have shelter over their heads! why is it so unfair? why is it that some people lead better lives than others? why are some people given more opportunities to do what they want? why are some authorized so much more freedom than others? why are some loved and others are not?

WHY?

2010-04-02T12:20:00.002+08:00

An April Fool's To Remember

*starlight, starbright

bye bye April Fool's, hello Good Friday! (:

Yesterday's work @ zoo was indeed memorable! All becos it was April Fool's, they tried to trick me by "issuing" a violation letter! zomg, frightened the daylights out of me please! I was directed to corp office to me daya and it seemed so damned serious that i started crying! LOL. I mean, I was preparing myself while walking to corp office; told myself I wouldn't cry (but I knew I would). Embarrassingly, I scared daya w my crying. wahahaha:D At the end of the day, I got myself a service badge(: --> what happen was that some guests were feeding the tamarines w their long bananas! they stuck their hand high up so that the tamarines could grab it & went over to stop them cos ev'ryone else was kind of busy. stupid sheen "lied" to me about the damned violation letter! made me so worried until I got somewhat scolded by kak kak for stapling the the papers wrongly! but nevertheless, they had fun tricking me; you could say it was a blessing in disguise(:

As tired as I was, I trained down to meet my GB homies(: the last time we met was like 24 Jan 2009!?! zomg. thank goodness for yesterday! laughed a great deal over lame and stupid things we did, went crazy together and just enjoyed each other's company! on the train, our way home, we founded THE NONSENSE CLUB! hahaha,me and tina(:

the positions are as follows:

President - CF

Secretary - zyi

Logistics - HL

Members - me & tina

we did away w the vice pres and treasurer cos we'll go dutch whenever we go out tgt unless we have some other plans. anw, yeah, so this NONSENSE CLUB was founded 01 April 2010. it's not a joke k. wahahaha(:

oh yeah, one last but important thing: HAPPY BIRTHDAY RA!(: miss your gp classes!(:

& so that was the enjoyable April Fool's I had w my colleagues and friends(: will be meeting cuzzzs later to visit yeye then going for a sumptuous dinner @ sakura's to celebrate the love of God that brought all of us together in this world.

He died, for YOU and ME.

to an awesome day ahead

cheers&love

2010-03-31T21:01:00.003+08:00

IF You Were Mine

*even if you're gone, you'll be on my mind

hohoho,went back to workplace today!(: enjoyed my visit quite a bit cos'

1) got to see my secure. g friend! missed her yo(: toured around the zoo w her for a while.

2)lotsa cute ang mohs today(: stood near one while watching the show. awww<3

3) weather was a-perfect!

anw,i'm a little disappointed cos i missed the elephant bath and ride): oh well, can always go back next time. got to feed the rhinos today! it was funny how they fight over food, omg. but in the end, the most dominant will get the best feast. kind of unfair actually, in some sense, in their animal world. stepped into the fragile forest, but didn't get to see any butterflies): but the presence of the lemurs and their babies (omg, damn cute!) made up for it! (:

& so all's well that ends well. can't help but insert a little literature into this post. gosh, i miss lit): anw, so long and have a sweet sleep(:

cheers&love

2010-03-30T22:55:00.005+08:00

Another Cigarette, Whatever I Can Get

*the things that never last; it's the state of mind

& yet again, i've been up to my neck w work and housework and found excuses for myself not to create more new posts. but tonight i forced myself to sit in front of lappy teddy and just update a bit(:

showered heavily today, omg. we had this umbrella service thing to shelter stranded people to shelter (i.e the safety of the entrance). lol. got wet and my socks were like soggy, damn gross for crying out loud!

some hilarious things occurred today too. well, there was this guest that said hi to me and all after i greeted him. then he came closer to me, stared at my nametag for approx 2 mins and then pronounced my name. next thing i knew, after my colleague let him in, he suddenly shouted "CLARA!" i was startled then i went "wth just happened" that sort of thing? funnily weird, i must say. oh yeah, and there was this lady who i mistakenly thought she wanted to see promfret. in actual fact she was asking me where the parrots were. hahahahah,omg, funny!

I'll be back @ my workplace again tmr! I'm praying it won't rain though! Gonna catch the elephant bath, splash safari show and elephant ride! excited much!(:

so to a peaceful night w adequate rest

cheers&love

2010-03-25T22:36:00.002+08:00

And She Will Be Loved

*I saw the face of an angel. It stood out, alone.

hi hi, me's been busy the past few days with more work and little off days until tmr! but i'm not as free as you think i am cos of all the Uni App stuff that has to be settled asap!): all the paperwork decreases my efficiency of doing MY own personal things that i wanna do. oh well, for the sake of my future, I SHALL PRESS ON. anw, it'll all be covered by the weekend (i hope).

well, today was so much more bearable w sheena and alex as company. glad miracle worker's singing brought about rain! and entrance today was weirdly enjoyable. kept laughing alot, giggling, getting scolded by cruz, asking dumb questions etc. funnily stupid, but fun(:

Anw, just a few updates about what has been going on in this bizarre world of mine...

1) 23 March 2010 - Ben & Jerry's Free Cone Day

A day worth celebrating considering the fact that that day's mee siam wasn't so bad as i expected it to be. twiladolly, din and i rushed to the queue as soon as we finished lunch. i had strawberry cheesecake ice cream! happy only(: to me, it's kick-ass good. sad thing is some colleagues couldn't get one cos the schoolkids on a visit flooded the queue and the freebie ended @1700h. oh well, i'm looking forward to next year's one already! can't wait! it'll be even better if i could visit Vermont, USA where B&J originated(: fine, i'll just keep on wishing...

2) claraclaraclara bombed $100++

Guess what. I met BFL unexpectedly on monday and we went shopping tgt for her trip. ended up i bought clothes too from Topshop and F21. pretty clothes but omg i spent hell lot please when my acc/'s been partially used for my iTouch. i seriously need some form of discipline and control.

3) University Applications

Deadline's 1st April and I've got them partially done only! tmr, I shall mail the stuff out la, i cannot procrastinate anymore. but seriously, i hate doing apps online cos it's so ughhh. and there's a time limit to complete the app! wth. although it's more convenient, but they should just remove the time limit thing. it just pressurizes us to think quickly and hence, more mistakes might be made. oh bother.

So i guess this might be all for now at least. I'm bloody tired mannnzzxxx. didn't see any cute/handsome/buff ang mohs today): hoping for another better day @ entrance when i return to work! HAHAHAHA(:

to a better tomorrow

cheers&love

2010-03-14T19:25:00.003+08:00

You're Everything I Need & More

*remember those walls I built, well baby they are (not) tumbling down.

today was another rainy day @ zoo. given the opportunity to go save people w Pat!(: the more fun i got = the more wet i got, but not till the point where my shirt was see-through or what la, just wet. and my poor poor swatch): it's always getting dunked! lol. stupid punching machine wasn't feeling too well the whole day):

anw,i can't further emphasise the fact that tmr's gonna be INDUCTION! i can't waittttt(: happy only,plus i get paid! ka-ching! but still must work harder to cover for the losses due to the purchase of my itouch(: heehee, hawhaw. okay sorry yo, going a lil' bonkers cos 1) i'm bloody tired, 2) i haven't bathed yet. gross, you must think, yes i know it too. after the post, i shall head straight to the shower.

l.o.v.e.t.a.k.e.s.c.o.u.r.a.g.e

love's something not as trivial as many of us might think. once we fall into it, you never know when you're gonna get out. love is all about traps from my pov, no exceptions. the only thing that matters is whether you fall into the right trap or the wrong trap. some people first start off and the fall into the right trap. they find joy, happiness, their other half. they are touched by their partners, both physically and mentally. they find strength from being together & they look deeply into the windows of their souls. while for others, they fall into the wrong trap. even if the trap looked really promising, there are flaws in it; the trap doesn't catch hold of you for long and leaves you hanging on for dear life. such traps are hurtful cos they bring you disguised hope, faked love, untrue confessions & LIES.

p.s i should prolly consider philosophy. i kind of like deep thinking as such:x

to many better & awesome days ahead

cheers&love

2010-03-13T18:26:00.004+08:00

The Pre-Undergraduate Experience

*& every falling star brings an extra dash of hope

Met my SR homies & we attended NUS Open House 2010 today!(: i'm jolly glad i went & clarified all i wanted to clarify. *heaves a sigh of relief*. Anw, NUS is where i want, and hopefully where God wants me to be:D *crosses fingers & prays hard* >.<>

Tmr's back to work again for me): i can't wait for monday's induction! it's gonna be much fun roaming the zoo!(: wahahaha,free trip, who don't want?! LOL. anw, w my fun-loving colleagues, monday's bound to be a blast!

IT Fair on friday(: happy only(: thanks dad for lappy Teddy:D fyi,my new laptop's name is Teddy. Don't ask me why, i came up w it on the spot. salon was getting irritated by me cos as you know, i'm a techno noob, and i just kept saying i'll wait for mom to come home and help me and she was like you try la, there's a first time to everything, why you so scared. LOL. I know, I should overcome ALL fears & conquer, like how i did for As(:

I guess I shall end here cos I'm kind of tired from yesterday and waking up @ 7am this very morning. *yawns* so turrah & God bless y'all(:

Give me back my point of view
'Cause I just can't think for you
I can hardly hear you say
What should I do, well you choose

- Jet

cheers&love

2010-03-10T22:21:00.002+08:00

Miss You, Want You, Need You So

*baby set me free from this misery

today was the first day of work experience w rain! i love the after-weather like feel of it(: it was breezy, cooling and best of all, NON HUMID, if such a term ever existed. anw, despite being tired and stupidly agreed to do closing, it was fun.

tmr, i'll be back, w shams of course. just hang out tgt and enjoy mother nature tgt(: awesomeeee. going to look for my secure g. friend! haha, said she would take me to see the funny thing that happened one night, omg, seriously damn funny. can't waitttt:D

Baby, set me free from this misery
I can't take it no more
Since you ran away nothing's been the same
Don't know what I'm living for

Here I am so alone
And there's nothing in this world I can do

Until you're back here baby
Miss you, want you, need you so
Until you're back here baby, yeah
There's a feeling inside I want you to know
You are the one and I can't let you go

So I told you lies, even made you cry
Baby, I was so wrong
Girl, I promise you now my love is true
This is where my heart belongs

'Cause here I am so alone
And there's nothing in this world I can do

Until you're back here baby
Miss you, want you, need you so
Until you're back here baby, yeah
There's a feeling inside I want you to know
You are the one and I can't let you go

And I wonder
Are you thinking of me?
'Cause I'm thinking of you
And I wonder
Are you ever coming back in my life?

'Cause here I am so alone
And there's nothing in this world I can do

Until you're back here baby
Miss you, want you, need you so
Until you're back here baby, yeah
There's a feeling inside I want you to know
You are the one and I can't let you go

BBMak's 'Back Here'

cheers&love

2010-03-08T22:35:00.003+08:00

have i fallen too deep to the point that i can't be rescued?

why have i fallen so fast into something that i am so afraid of?

what kind of shit thing am i getting myself into?
why have i fallen so deep, so fast, so elusively?

why?

2010-03-08T12:23:00.003+08:00

She Said He Was Handsome

*i don't know if i can yell any louder

thank goodness for off day today,or else i would hv died x___x srsly.

meeting twinn for high tea later! happy happy v v(: it has been ages since i last had high tea.

o.m.g

The sky has lost it's color
The sun has turned to grey
At least that's how it feels to me
Whenever you're away
I crawl up in the corner
As I watch the minutes pass
Each one brings me closer to
The time you're comin' back

I can't take the distance
I can't take the miles
I can't take the time until I next see you smile
I can't take the distance
And I'm not ashamed
That with every breath I take I'm callin your name

But I can't take the distance

I still believe my feelings
But sometimes I feel too much
I make believe you're close to me
But it ain't close enough
Not nearly close enough

I can't take the distance
I can't take the miles
I can't take the time until I next see you smile
I can't take the distance
And I'm not ashamed
That with every breath I take I'm callin your name

I brave fire and I brave rain
To be by your side I'd do anything
I can't take the distance

I will go the distance
I will go the miles
That's how much you mean to me

'Cause I can't take the distance
I can't take these miles
I can't take the time until I next see you smile
I can't take the distance
And I'm not ashamed
That with every breath I take I'm calling your name
I can't take the distance

It's hard to remember
As long as you're away
When I find solace
There's only one way

Oliver James's 'The Distance'

2010-03-08T00:15:00.003+08:00

Then We Compromised

*would you save my soul tonight?

i'm thankful for bestfriend who accompanied me to the night safari earlier on. thanks loveee(: anw, we found this romantic-cum-scenic view near the giraffe/zebra exhibit. it's way way cool! check it out mannnzzz. we were like, 'O.M.G'. awesome much.

anw, today was another hectic-cum-dirty day of work for me - being trapped in sbe): when i was supposed to be at entrance. sian. anw, it went okay w the help to fantastic colleagues:D and yeah, i guess i'm getting the hang of doing it on my own now(: gladdd

The way we held each others hand,
the way we talked, the way we laughed
it felt so good to find true love
I knew right then and there you were the one

cheers&love

2010-03-05T22:00:00.003+08:00

We Are Blessed Children(:

*we usually receive the unexpected & this is what makes us happy.

Thank God for all that He has done in our lives. Indeed, miracles do happen, and they happen in special, unforgettable ways. God usually sends signals in His own manner to hint to us certain things, certain plans He has in mind for each of us. Today, I am assured of this(:

BBB/AB = God's love&mercy&grace(:

so it's back to work again tmr. somehow, I don't feel like going back.

i miss A1):, BADLY):

cheers&love

2010-03-05T01:44:00.001+08:00

Roccckkssszzz

*only wishing we could Try

I see you on the street
My broken heart still skips a beat
I hear your name inside I go insane
Baby each day that we don't touch
is one more day it hurts too much
I can't forget the love that we made

But there'll come the moment that we're gonna meet (again)
Baby it won't even bother me
Trying to make it to the day you'll be
Just an old boyfriend
Won't be thinking of you every night
Only wishing we could only try
Won't tear me up inside
Just an old boyfriend

Anyone can see the love we killed is killing me
I'm just so sad to lose what we had - Oh yeah
There's no doubt that I should be ok by now
But I'm not there yet
It hurts me so bad but

From the moment that we're gonna meet (again)
Baby it won't even bother me
I'll be looking to the day you'll be
just an old boyfriend
Won't be thinking of you every night
Only be wishing we could only try
You won't tear me up inside
just an old boyfriend

Nothing more and nothing less
No more living with regret
Your memory won't get
The best of me,the best of me
Oh you're gonna see

Kaci Brown's 'Just An Old Boyfriend'

2010-03-04T21:57:00.002+08:00

The Tikki Room

*the countdown - 16 hours till judgement

OMG, i am embarressed. i'm embarressed of myself. i'm embarressed about the things i think of. i'm just embarressed. what if i got to ntu? i'm gonna be embarressed. like totally. omg, why can't i think straight from the beginning?! why must it be ntu?!? omg, omg, omg. but then again, maybe if i got into ntu, i would be in a different faculty. aha, that's it! but i'll consider european studies @ nus too.

omg, this seems too much for me to bear. i just hope we both don't remember each other for good.

cheers&love

2010-03-03T21:48:00.002+08:00

I Know The Girl In Short Skirt

*I think about it ev'ry night & day, spread my wings & fly away

Counting down; 2 more days till judgement comes.

Praying hard, crossing my fingers till they turn blue. gross.

but i gotta do it. no exceptions.

Tired out from work, tmr on SB. please, don't call me back! i wanna sleeeepp!! perks of going back:

1) Chicken Rice for lunch - can't wait to taste how good it really is.

2) ICED LEMON TEAAAAA - missed it today):

3) FRIENDSSSS

Closing was one of the lamest times we've had. We were in full chorus, greeting the people, bidding 'em farewell:

ME: byebye

MA: thanks for coming

HN: see you again

AA: have a nice day

then SH came, then VIC. We rehearsed.

ME: byebye

MA: thanks for coming

HN: see you again

AA: have a nice day

SH: safe sex

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! OMG, we all burst out laughing. DAMN FUNNNY PLEASE!

so you see, the kind of 'sane' people I meet @ my workplace, o.m.g(: don't be suprised if i turned a bit screwy up there:p

I need you boo

I gotta see you boo

And the heart's all over the world tonight

Said the heart's all over the world tonight

cheers&love

2010-03-02T11:38:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, It's Wrong To Walk Away

*knowing there's so much more to say

All of a sudden, she's finding myself in a messed up world. Should she be brave and move on and take chances? Or should she be less brave and be mommy's girl yet again? She's confused. One side of her yearns, the other fears.

Someone once said, "Love is an exploding cigar that we willingly smoke." How apt. No matter how dangerous love may be, people still never fail to develop an addiction. She's finding herself too deep in troubled waters. There's so much they can talk about, but it's the confrontation part that scares her the most. If you were find her, and coincidence has it that you both meet, what is she to do. You say you love her, but do you really? You've hardly known each other, and you said those sacred words to her, I just don't understand. I'm sure some people out there too might face such things too yeah. freaks the daylights out of you sometimes.

But I guess maybe, sometimes, it's probably wrong to walk away, despite knowing that there's so much more to say. perhaps, something beautiful may develop, like those beautiful pink blossoms, or those water lilies in ponds. sometimes, such things can't be predicted. you just have to try.

to many awesome days ahead

that i was born to try

i've learned to love

be understanding

and believe in life

but you've got to make choices

be wrong or right

sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like

cheers&love

2010-03-01T21:01:00.005+08:00

Before The Worst

*reality hits, i wonder if i'll be hurt badly.

O.M.G CNA officially announced on it's moving tagline that the 'GCE 'A' Level results will be out on Friday' & that happened when I was having dinner. It was supposed to be an enjoyable dinner in front of the tv, but no, the tv scared the daylights out of me. REALITY HIT ME HARD.

I wonder if on Friday I'll hyperventilate and pass on within the walls of SRJC, where I met awesome friends and teachers who never failed to support me w their encouragement. Actually I wouldn't regret it if I passed away then. I'll be jolly glad to, cos I know I'll be w God and w Him, everyday's gonna be enjoyable! But then again, i guess God wouldn't want me to leave Earth too early. I haven't really figured out what he created me to do for Him, but I somehow always have this 'others 1st, you 2nd' kind of mentality. maybe, that's really it, but then again, who knows there may be more to it than it meets the eye(:

so, friends, after tonight, we'll just be left w 3 days till judgement comes. let's cross our fingers tight and hope for the best(:

'kelly: 'Zen. You are the world.''

When you walk away I count the steps that you take

Do you see how much I need you right now

cheers&love

2010-02-24T11:50:00.004+08:00

Give, Without Expecting To Receive

*summertime feelin'

hi one & all, somehow today feels depressing, for who knows what reason. I just feel so emotional now, NOW. Anw, as much as I want to shrug off this irk-ish feeling, I can't help it, it just keeps buggin' me. damn.

anyhow, i guess today's just researching University courses, movie marathon-ing(uncfmed.) & heading down to the neighborhood to purchase some things for my dear zoo colleagues): I''m gonna miss 'em dearly really. It's really so much fun working there w them around! but their internship's endin' so, it's back to school for them I guess): omg, what am i gonna do w/o them!? and there's this other friend, who's leaving for attachment soon. though I've only known her for a few days/weeks, it's really great working w her; it's like there's this senior watching over you, and guiding you kind of vibe; like what an elder sibling would do. i guess i'm gonna miss her much too. okay maybe i wouldn't guess, i am.

& so that's all I have to talk about today, or maybe if something funny happens later, i'll prolly be back, but that's not really possible. Anw, I'm hungry. gonna grab something to eat yo. have an awesome day ev'ryone!(:

everytime the sun goes down

he's the one that's holding you baby

yeah me i'm missin' you way across town

so do you believe me now

cheers&love

2010-02-21T20:43:00.006+08:00

SBE Queens

*washing wagons, counting strollers, driving mobiles

hello there(: phew, finally, off day tmr! happy happy happy(: thank goodness for my friends at the zoo, omg, the days are bearable. today's weather was supposed to be cooling, w/o the hot sun, and indeed so, it poured down heavily from above. You know, God has His own plans(:

Anw, just some random updates about the zoo's services. We now have this zoo mobile thingy that visitors can rent for $25/$35 depending on the size. As much as they can bring about fun for both visitors and zoo personnel alike, it's really a hassle in some sense. cos if the batt runs out the zoo people would have to transport it back to sbe to be charged. omg, damn, more sweat. no, perspiration. animals sweat, humans perspire. that's what i remember from school. lol.

Anw,other random random stuff that happened today, one of which was a conversation I had w this old man(sthg along these lines la huh, can' t be so accurate):

me: hi sir, may i help you?

man: how much does it cost to rent this? * referring to the mobile*

me: the small ones are $25 *points to them*

man: *stunned look**looks @ me, then @ my name tag, then again @ me*$25?!?!

me: yes sir

man: *shakes his head and walks away*

omg, seriously, this is the Z.O.O! ev'rything there is expensive(unless you're staff of course). he didn't need to give me that 'wth, damn expensive' look. pek chek to the max. But ya la, i have to admit, it's pricey seriously but well, for the fun of it, i guess it's worth it(:

And so, the day at sbe passes and we are all worn out, tired. but somehow i just can't wait to go back to work on tuesday, it's really weird ya, i know, but yeah, it's just me, c.l.a.r.a. it's a 'clara' thing la. okay stop it. fine right, i'm rambling cos i'm tired and heck, i'm gonna watch tv now, so farewell & i'll be back yo(:

peace out world

it's such a dirty mess imperfect at its best

but it's my love, my love, my bloody valentine

sometimes i wanna leave but i watch you next to me

my love, my love, my bloody valentine

maybe i should but i still can't just walk away

try to convince me again that i should stay

through all the brokenness this bleeding heart must confess

i love my love my bloody valentine

~ tata young

cheers&love

2010-02-19T13:58:00.006+08:00

2010-02-19T10:54:00.002+08:00

The Essence of Busyness

*miss america/her battlefield soldier

hi there, i'm finally back after so long. i've been really busy (and tired) with my new job at the zoo. As tiring as it may be, i'm glad to be enjoying it(: my colleagues, friends, the cleaners, the gardener... omg, i'm lovin' it!

After having worked there for only about a week or so, so many things have happened that widened my horizons. The kinds of people you meet in the real world, the small challenges that i've faced and the more important lesson on trust. we cannot be so gullible anymore as we proceed on with our pre-adult life and maybe sometimes, it's good to treat issues with a little tinge of skepticism. anyhow, my work experience there has been going on fine(though it's a lil' harsh on the legs) nevertheless, i'm enjoying myself v much and i'm looking forward to the months i'll be spending there(:

19th Feb 2010 - SRJC Lit Night - Seasons of Love

I'll be there, will you? (: I hope it'll be as exciting as the prev years and hopefully the makeover of LT5 (where we so memorably had our CT lessons on the floor near the stage) would enhance the atmosphere of love(: so, see you.

tmr, i'll be back to work. happy only(:

so baby don't worry, you are my only

you won't be lonely, even if the sky is falling down

cheers&love

2010-02-07T23:22:00.002+08:00

Fruustration Muuch, Fruustration No More

*all my thoughts just seem to settle on the breeze

FINALLY, THE DAY CAME.

LONG SUFFERING = WELL WORTH IT(:

And so, I'll be starting work on the 10th! happy only(: but yet again, I feel so paiseh going back to the office cos of all my relentless calling >.<>

Exciting!(: I'll be meeting my new green bag I snagged on ebay on Saturday. I hope it's really up to what I think it would be, or else... but nevermind, at least J's gonna be there w me. HAHA, say bye bye to boredom(:

*yawns* & so here's farewell to another night.

Cause I can feel you breathe
It's washing over me
And suddenly i'm melting into you
There's nothing left to prove
Baby, all we need is just to be
Caught up in the touch
Slow and steady rush
Baby, isn't that the way that love's suppose to be
I can feel you breathe

faith hill - breathe

cheers& love

2010-01-27T20:36:00.003+08:00

Boys & Their Stupid Nonsense

*for all the words I didn't say and the things I didn't do

Work...is beginning to become fun actually. Now I speak up more, I 'suan' people more, I laugh along with others more...really, those people at office = fun crowd to be with. I'm speaking the truth, this equation is for real. I'm really glad to have met people whom I grew closer to, people who I feel are able to be mates for a long time(: hopefully even after I leave we'll still continue to meet up and hang out together!

Anw, office politics is inevitable. I felt it best not to really say anything despite knowing certain things, lest I get myself into hot soup! In the real world, things like these happen and yeah, I guess we just have to live with it. it's kind of funny but yeah, they still do happen. Mutual feelings, bad impressions, the stupidity of actions, words and whatever not...makes me wanna laughhhh when I think about it:p

Anw, to lighten up the mood, i suggest you watch this(:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UbqZ_oN5do

it's so hilarious!!!

so here's to many better days ahead in life(:

Every time I look at you, baby, I see something new

That takes me higher than before and makes me want you more

I don't wanna sleep tonight, dreamin's just a waste of time

When I look at what my life's been comin' to
I'm all about lovin' you

cheers&love

2010-01-19T20:23:00.003+08:00

Prank Calls & Funny Dolls

*closed off from love, i didn't need the pain

sometimes, i guess i just need to learn to walk away. what my eyes see, makes me feel pain within. unexplainable. i thought my mind would learn to drift away from reality, but no, it's not working. maybe Fate is toying with my feelings. maybe it's just not meant to be. maybe it's my destiny. maybe i'm tested by God to learn to be braver and stronger rather than being dependent. maybe it's supposed to be just the way it is.

sometimes, i'm envious of those who are given opportunities. it makes me wonder why ain't i given a chance. some do not even cherish such chances, and they go wasted. why. i wonder. it takes 2 hands to clap, and there must be give and take. so what if i know the theory but i'm not given a challenge to face. why.

sometimes, things like these are hard to fathom. i wonder why. can't things be made simpler in life. i guess not. at this stage in my life, i feel like i've lost in this game. maybe i'll lead a solitary life all throughout the days that i am able to breathe. maybe i'll pass on, alone. maybe this is part of my life, maybe i should just accept it. accept it.

i wonder if better days lie ahead of me. I can only wonder. Everything you see now, is just a facade.

cheers&love

2010-01-17T18:03:00.002+08:00

Sun At Midnight
*i want my words to always be true

& so, today has been absolutely boring, except for the short thrill ride along the new Bartley viaduct(: fun. now I can reach Tampines/Bedok oh so quickly(:

Anw, I baked brownie today, w M's help of course. OMG, it was good. Tried my hand at drawing, had some fun creating stuff,l and I guess my fun end's there. There's work tmr): siannnnzzzzxxx.

Oh well, I'm just gonna pray for many better days ahead. turahhh):

cheers&love

2010-01-14T11:05:00.003+08:00

It's A Beautiful Day In The Neighbourhood

*the midnight train

I've decided. I've decided to wait 2 more weeks for my pay and head down to tanglin on Saturday to shop! LOVE THE FLEA SALES(: so much cheaper than what i can find online lah omg. but anw, I must control my spending power - it's getting stronger - and that's really bad. Anw, this month's pay has strings attached so gotta keep a watchful eye on what I buy):

Anw, if you're wondering what I'm doing here, fyi, my work starts at 3pm today. I feel so siannnnxxxzzz, i don't know why. Maybe after starting work, i don't have so much as what you call a 'life'. Somewhat like school, but WORSE i tell you. okay, i meet my fun colleagues there but sometimes, it's just siannnxxxzzz. oh bother.

missin' my SR homies & bff

xoxo

cheers&love

2010-01-12T18:16:00.002+08:00

Welcome Home

*mine is a blind kind of love

Working = chore, but I'll have to live w it, now, tomorrow, forever.

Glad to be back in the pillars of SR today(: At least I met RA and a few of my friends whom I dearly missed. Though sales wasn't as good, we had fun pretending to be soldiers combing 'sectors' for our 'enemies' and 'targets'. FUNNY & FUN(: Funny thing is, when i walked into the study, I remembered the stupid things we used to do there, like paste post-its against the wall thingy in front of us, how some of us competed eating wasabi coated peas from the cafe, how we watched runners running past the glass window and some of us peered out to wave at people we knew. how memorable. And when I was at the canteen, I saw the familiar images describing our core habits and then I saw al's face - and I realised how long ago (ever since prom night) I haven't seen/heard from her. After lunch, I went back to the cafe to get iced lemon tea; they were the same people there, ever so polite and ready to serve people. Nostalgic.

And so the day ends. I got to quickly start my application for my desired job - at the zoo!(: resumes, letters etc....better get started already!!

So until next time folks, best wishes(:

cheers&love

2010-01-08T18:52:00.002+08:00

Each Day, New Beginning

*devotedness

I'm so excited! I'm going to the zoo on sunday!(:

hi friends, I'm back again after so longgggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg(:

miss muah blog xoxo

Anw, now that I'm finally back from travelling the world, there are so many things at hand that I wanna do!! but so little time, really. 6 months = not enough + $$$$ NEVER enough. So, I enrolled myself into the workforce and I'm glad to be earning my own $$$ through my own work(: but it somehow sucks big time. I always find myself wishing my friends from SR were there with me - goshhh, miss 'em much much. In no time, the boys will be enlisted into the army to protect our country! fast, darn fast.

I'm glad to be back on blogger, typing my thoughts out and today's takeaway concern's our pride. Doesn't mean that one who comes from a prestigeous school has the right to say that other people are mentally slow. So what if they are intellectually capable? EQ is also as important. Not to hit a rough patch w those smart people out there, I just wish that some people were more educated in being emotionally sensitive. What's the point of having IQ w/o any EQ?!

So here's to a better day to me & those who're feeling upset today!

cheers&love

2009-11-16T13:09:00.003+08:00

Midway

*the moments where my good times start to fade

WE'RE MARCHING PAST THE HALFWAY MARK!(:

MARCH ON MARCH ON

And I'm jolly glad blogger's restored my formatting tools!!!(: happy only(:

It has been ultra longgg, seriously. The last post was...oh my, I can't even remember when! I feel good to be back on Blogger again! Apparently, or so I heard, everyone's flooding FB again, like crazy! I can't even remember when I last embraced the comp! poor comp, w/o me utilizing it, it's sitting there idle. until my laptop wish comes true, i'll continue to remain loyal to this comp. Anw, 4 more days till the end of my misery, or should I say OUR misery. I feel so caged up, esp on weekends, like a bird, flapping my wings but can't come out. OMG): but that's all gonna be over soon! yay!

And so, while I'm pretty excited about the end of my exams, bringing myself back to reality, there are still 4 more papers to go. yeah baby, just 4 more!!! hang in there, all of us, we can do it yoz(:

So best of luck to everyone out there still struggling/surving while being trapped by the strangleholds of examinations!

cheers&love

2009-10-22T10:17:00.000+08:00

"Maybe Ignorance Is Truly Bliss"
*would you serenade me in my dreams?

So much for dreams, aspirations and expectations. When one door appears to be opened, you find yourself bruised all over cos you open up your arms and try to embrace the open door. When you open the door, there are no bathrooms or homeliness; you fall into another jungle again. Maybe I shouldn't hold too much expectation, I shouldn't even be thinking about such things. All the while I was living my quietly happy life, thinking that everything is okay, but NO everything is not actually okay. I told myself, "One day I'll fly around the world to do things that I love, to find people that I want to see." You know, like how some girls dream of meeting their idols live, yeah that kind of dream. But I doubt it's ever going to happen. So much for dreams of seeing the world, so much for expectations of meeting celebrities, so much for wishes that were made on stars that never came true. So much for love and romance that remain unrequited.

Someone once said," To love someone, when there is no chance of that love ever thriving,that is romance." I believe that, really. It is so hard to find someone to really love. When one door appears to be open, it is not actually open. BANG! and you're hurt.
♥

Maybe in time, we will find somebody to hug, to kiss, to do things that are fun-loving and all. Through time, that is. Maybe some people find them faster than others, or maybe God thinks we're undeserving of it yet, or maybe we're not living up to other people's expectations of who we should be, or how we should look. I don't know. There are so many things that I do not comprehend. There's too much in this world, in this realm of romance for me to understand. When you do things for someone, you do it out of love. Perhaps that's why love is an ability, not an emotion.

cheers&love

2009-10-20T00:15:00.001+08:00

The Dark Night
*I see one single star shining bright(:

Sagittarius + Aries
(Fire + Fire = Explosion)

Coming together with an Aries is all systems go! Sagittarius/Aries is a powerful and adventurous match, so an exciting joyride awaits you both in this fiery combination. In many cases it’s love at first sight — it won’t take long to fan the flames of each other’s desire.

There is also a great deal of joy and playfulness in this combo. This is because your ruling planets are friendly. Likewise, you have a sense that each of you somehow reflects the qualities of the other. This ensures good understanding, and easy communication between you.

Occasionally you’ll find that your discussions get heated, even disagreeable. At other times your Aries partner will be thought-provoking and enthralling. At least there’ll never be a dull moment! Aries will keep you on your toes. They don’t like boring and predictable relationships any more than you do. To both of you, variety is the spice of life.

Aries will fire you up and support you in your ambitions, and you’ll be able to take their boisterous energy and help them direct it to bigger and better things. This way you’ll both be inspired and supported. And over time, you’ll be able to bring out Aries’ intuition and idealism.

There’s a karmic element to this relationship too; there’s something lucky and predestined about your meeting. This is one of those relationships that you know has a chance of working.

Your freedom-loving independence is a good match for Aries’ dramatic and outgoing nature. There’ll be no stopping either of you if you decide to commit to this relationship. There’ll be plenty of travel, too, and that will also bring out your like-mindedness.

Your sexual appetites verge on the extreme. The two of you will spend hours enjoying the art of lovemaking. You’re well suited, sexually — there should be plenty of passionate times.

If you’re a Sagittarian born between 12 December and 21 December, you’ll be ideally suited to Arians born between 31 March and 10 April. You’ll understand each other well, and that will help the relationship over the long term.

Adapted from http://www.astrology.com.au/compatibility/compatibility.asp

cheers&love

2009-10-16T21:01:00.000+08:00

Unloved/Loved/Unloved.
*attack of the killer smile

Nothing beats jumping and splashing in the pool under the bright, warm mid-afternoon sun!(:
& now I can truly fathom why people more or less always say that 'A's are gonna be tough!):

TIME. IS. GONNA. FLY.

2009-10-09T20:38:00.000+08:00

Seconds, Hours, So Many Days
*what if my chances are already gone?

kris allen - no boundaries
will i make it through the pain?
will i make it through the hurricane?
is there really nothing between me and my dreams?
):

ME: "the next 2 weeks, exam weeks are either going to make me or break me"
ME'S FRIEND: "it will make you"
i'm praying so, very so.

Today, whilst waiting for assembly to begin, I tilted my head and looked towards the great, clear blue sky. I felt happy; I was glad to be in school. Then something hit me, brought me to reality. I felt like crying all of a sudden. The mere thought of it just sent some tiny tear drops near my eyes, thankfully they didn't slip out. I felt like 'why is this happening to me?!' where's the 'thing' i wanted and needed most? No, no, i couldn't ask for it; I didn't have one to begin with. Pictures of life that I see almost everyday, although the same, always impacts me greatly. Just the mere thought of it, the lovely sight. WHY? I always try to suppress, sometimes it works, sometimes, I really just can't help it. Okay, if you don't get it, it's okay, I'm just rambling yo:P
Anw, I thought that today was going to be a tiring day, I thought my 4hrs of sleep wouldn't last me through the day, but God made me do so. happy only(; I'm also glad that I'm seeing myself improve for Literature. Hello A grade, here I come!!! working towards the end + keeping end in mind = ME - I CAN!(:

so long to everyone out there
remember that someone out there loves you(:
world peace

cheers&love

2009-09-25T20:45:00.000+08:00

You're So Much More Than Wonderful
*I could spend forever hoping you'd be here with me(:

another week's passed, just like that
GP test seems like a gonner, but but I tried my best(: really
hello saturday & sunday!

1243(;

One Two Three Four
Tell me that you love me more
Sleepless long nights
That is what my youth was for

Old teenage hopes are alive at your door
Left you with nothing but they want some more

Oh, you’re changing your heart
Oh, You know who you are

Sweetheart bitterheart now I can tell you apart
Cosy and cold, put the horse before the cart

Those teenage hopes who have tears in their eyes
Too scared to own up to one little lie

Oh, you’re changing your heart
Oh, you know who you are

One, two, three, four, five, six, nine, or ten
Money can’t buy you back the love that you had then
One, two, three, four, five, six, nine, or ten
Money can’t buy you back the love that you had then

Oh, you’re changing your heart
Oh, you know who you are
Oh, you’re changing your heart
Oh, you know who you are
Oh, who you are

For the teenage boys
They’re breaking your heart
For the teenage boys
They’re breaking your heart
<3

cheers&love

2009-09-21T12:09:00.000+08:00

The Morning Sunshine
*i love you baby & if it's quite all right, i need you baby to warm my lonely night

saddd): (chelsea 3, tottenham 0) oh goodness.
I hope Sebastian Bassong's gonna be all right with that wicked turn of his neck. ouchhh):
Oh Lord, please grant Mr Redknapp wisdom for Saturday's match against Burnely, please?

Anw, this morning I opened my mailbox and a close friend emailed me this story about unconditional love and the last line of the story just screamed at me: "Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance". i hope it urges you to think too, about what you're doing and how you're going through life. For me, life is indeed tough & more tough when you have 'A' Levels to sit for. It means no more FB, no more doing craft work, no more shopping, no more photography outings, no more meeting BFF, no more this no more that. But, as the story goes, there is always something unsuspecting that may pleasantly surprise you and although the situtaion may be go according to your plans, just make the best use of it and take something fun, something out of this unlikable situation that you would remember for a lifetime(:

cheers&love

2009-08-31T14:11:00.000+08:00

The Words I Couldn't Say
*no 2nd chance, no back up plan, & no one else to blame

luvvv this song by Rascal Flatts
hooked(: & happy(:

31/08/2009
HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY
To all teachers out there, many thanks for your unfailing efforts in punishing us, reprimanding, prep talking, teaching, having fun in class, joking, being sarcastic, being encouraging and for all the wonderful treats that you've given us/me(: Once again, I appreciate awesomely your good intentions in grooming each of us students and helping us become better, more knowledgeable and of course wiser individuals(:

oh yes, jolly glad to 'reunite' with A1 warriors today too. Glad to see all of them today, esp my homies(:

28/08/2009
ZOO TRIPPIN'
Thanks to friends who made last minute decisions, i myself made a last minute decision to head down to the ZOO where I anticipated lotsa funnn & I obviously did(: check out the animal photos on my FB, I like(: And so you see, when things seem to fall apart and you feel down, no way are you ever gonna feel down cos you know you got yourself, you're able to come up with ingenious ideas to make yourself happy without being sad about anything! I'm jolly glad I went to the Zoo on my own & I sure will do it again(: definitely(: YES.
By the way, omg, there were like throngs of ang mohs, okay maybe throngs is a lil hyperbolic, but yeah, there were so many of them. & one cute one looked me in the face and spoke to me. OMG(: *heart meltsssszzz* hahah, he's cute la, seriously. My mind's made up (I think), if anyone's going to be my boyfriend in the future, he shall be an ang moh(:

And so the past week I've been wasting my time, watching soccer which I really really enjoy and now grandmama's at home & I'm so glad that she's here and I'm so sad that school's starting again on Wednesday and I sure hope I won't get bummed by my prelim results and I know and I will trust God for miracles and life's just gonna get sweeter with Him each and every day. I love you Lord(:

to everyone out there, have an awesome week ahead
peace out yo(:

cheers & love

2009-08-22T23:12:00.001+08:00

There's So Much We Say
*it's time we're aware

Call me crazy, but I trained down to the Airport by my lonely self at 1130 just to meet Joshua to study:/ I can't believe it took me 1.5 hrs just to get to the airport! ahh well, next time if I have my own house, I prolly shall be in Tampines or Bedok or somewhere near the Airport(: Anyhow, coincidentally, I made a new friend today while courageously attempting H2 Math for the first time and I was stumped): but nevermind, no biggie. Bused home on 81, amd crafted my time away(: happy only. But I don't want to regret later, so tomorrow, I'm going to devote my soul and my being to revision. Just 2 more papers, then I'm done(: poor science people, I understand their agony): anyhow, everyday's just going to get better and better and better. I know(:

Sometimes life suddenly punches you in the eye, and so suddenly, you're just caught off guard with something unexpected. so much to say, few ears can I find. repression, may perhaps be better than voicing it out.

love you Lord
all my life
(:

2009-08-12T23:01:00.001+08:00

Analysis of ME(:
*when skies are gray, love turns it to sunshine
~ happy birthday joshie(:

Here is the analysis:

You've got great self-confidence and you're full of charm. Most guys who get to know you will be attracted to you. You are far from sweet and proper; your intriguing personality fascinates them. Most guys find it easy to fall for a girl like you.
You really care about other people's feelings and are quite serious about the issues that affect your life. You are sincere, and your concern for the well-being of others makes many people want to be your friend.
You are a bright, cheerful and bubbly person. You are thoughtful and considerate, and like to have fun. Everybody feels comfortable around you because of your pleasant nature. When you walk into a room, people's eyes are likely to be drawn to you because of your charm.
Guys see you as being a thinker and a careful person. They will be really attracted to this quality in you, but you need to learn to speak your mind, otherwise people will find you too shy and quiet. Learn to relax and lighten up--it's okay to have fun sometimes. When you learn to develop your fun-loving side, guys are going to flock to your side.
Your boyfriend believes that you are a strong and independent person. Your confidence and cheerfulness make you an attractive person to be around, but sometimes you need to pay more attention to what other people, including your boyfriend, are thinking.

Here is the analysis:

Kind and Gentle

Your kindness is your charm - you are also gentle and sweet. Everybody likes to be around people with your personality. Like a psychologist, people like to talk to you to discuss their problems because you are proper and discrete, as well as confident. You look mature and people respect you. People with this kind of character are few and far between.

Here is the analysis:

The Mass Communicator

You have a cheerful personality and you are a naturally kind person. Your hidden talent isn't really that hidden at all: you shine among a crowd. You would make an ideal news announcer, flight attendant or model - any position that would give you an opportunity to deal with plenty of people. A tip for you is to avoid getting too deeply involved in others' personal lives - otherwise you might find yourself constantly being asked for help.

Here is the analysis:

He is intelligent, concerned and warm. He's not looking for excitement. If you're looking for someone to watch over you, someone romantic, strong, peaceful, trust worthy, he has them all. Being the one for him can be tough, unless you use your head and your heart to take relationships seriously.

happy only(: (: (:

2009-08-08T13:32:00.000+08:00

sad sad sad

i can't upload photos to blogger neither can i use the 'like' and 'comment' function on FB
PISSED!!

2009-07-25T12:13:00.002+08:00

Everyday With You
*so much sweeter than the day before(:

thanks to God for my redeemer

thanks to thou hast dost provide

TGIF!(:

it's a Saturday. I wanted to go to the library, but I ended up facebooking te WHOLE ENTIRE MORNING): damn it, clara, go study NOW! (okay, maybe not now, after this post)

On the day of the eclipse, the weather seemed odd. the sky was a pinkish purple if I remember correctly and it was raining. The cool weather was shiok(: & classes were fine. I was just thinking, in the skies above, in the universe, the outer 'islands', marvelous yet intriguing stuff happens. Like the eclipse for instance. But we just can't see it!): As the days pass, we may see that things really appear normal and in stasis. Things don't seem to be moving as fast or as pretty as we desire it to be. But look at the big picture, behind every scene, there's something beautiful awaiting us. There's something, someone out there who would perfect this seemingly ugly surface that we're faced with.

hang in there sunshine, things will definitely get better in time(:

cheers&love

2009-06-28T20:29:00.002+08:00

What's That?

*the things you feel, the things unsaid, sometimes you don't have to understand them

I'm finding myself wallowing in a pit that I dug, maybe for myself. I don't know. I try to find and find, paste my eyeball on the computer screen in search of something potentially beautiful, but I just can't seem to find it. Even if I chanced upon something similar, it's not the same at all, not at all. I guess some things aren't meant for humans to understand, like you know feelings, thought. Sometimes they need no explanation cos you can't simply provide it! It's complicated yet so simple at the same time. In any case, I still leave it to the good old 'if it's meant to be, it's meant to be'. You can't force it to come to you. Sometimes you just got to believe that if you try and you don't get it, just walk away from it cos you don't deserve such an outcome.

to better, lovlier days ahead

cheers&love

2009-06-28T13:36:00.003+08:00

Pink Flowers Under My Head

* 'Cause that's what single girls do, don't think about you

" I always want to do better. Whenever I've had an opportunity and one route was more lucrative, I've always chosen the more interesting, less lucrative one. I've always chosen to chase my dreams." ~ Trish Karter

& that's what I wanna do too(:

In any case, I feel like life's being pretty plesant ever since the day I reached out & God touched me again(: I pray He'll continue to touch my heart each and every day, till forever. As the day passes by, every minute ticking by, every second flowing by, I guess I'll just enjoy the rest of this warm but beautiful Sunday that I'm able to live in. And as school begins tomorrow, I'm just going to believe that God will be my provider of strength and love, and I'll be able to feel this sense of completeness that I wanna feel. Cheers to the world until the next time we meet, which might be in quite a long while): Anw, <3>

cheers&love

2009-06-25T21:00:00.003+08:00

Meetings With Love

*we have joy we have fun we have seasons in the sun(:

24 JUNE '09

cheers&love

2009-06-23T17:23:00.002+08:00

Rainbows From The Aeroplanes

*& let the stars fall, let the whole world know

As dreary as the day gets, I'm getting fed up with doing GP essay outlines! :x Anw, 2 more left to go. Mind you, i just had a 4 hour GP lesson earlier! x__x

Anw, I can't wait to meet my secondary school homies! OMG(: I'm kind of disappointed that school ain't closing but it may prove to be good anyhow. At least I know I'm gonna study and not be distracted by the computer. ohh, the evils of technology...

Today, I'm so gonna watch 'The Brink of Law'. It's such a pity Rijin's father's gonna pass away in this episode): & that Jinzhi's so darn evil. A woman + evil = MONSTER:P Anyhow, I find that Jiaer's role in this serial seems to be that of a perpetrator, like that of Lady Macbeth in 'Macbeth'. omg, horrifying O.O Anw, I'm gonna enjoy that in about 4.5 hrs.

School's startin' next week): When I think of it, I feel...dreadful): But we have to always take things positively right? Going to school means meeting my college homies again, classmates, acquaintances, teachers, attending lessons etc. Anyhow, school may not be that bad after all huh. Just that with the H5N1 flu spreading like wildfire, we have to more cautious and observe our hygiene.

So, with cheer and support from God most high, bid farewell to the world until another post(:

cheers&love

2009-06-22T10:44:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, It's Wrong To Walk Away

*thinking it's over, there's so much more to say

Nothing beats waking up early, having to go to school for an hour, and then coming back home, thinking the day has ended, but there's math class in the evening. damnnn:(

Rain clouds, they come and they go. Life's downturns, they come and they go too? Anw, on a lighter note, I'll be meeting my BFF later; not like we're going shoppin' or anything, but yeah, just hang out for a while. Come to think of it, I wonder why exams are so important in life. We usually talk about those hurdles in life and I'm rather certain that these hurdles are our exams we spend approx. 12 years (for JC kiddos) of our precious life doing nothing but study, study, study. Again, stress fumes emits themselves over the years, not only do the examined get stressed, parents of the examined get stressed out too! In any case, I don't actually see the need for exams. I mean if you enjoy studying, then so be it, continue to pursue it. But some may not be exam material, so what? Just go ahead and do what interests you. I believe that hard work and perseverance brings success. But success may not just be confined to academic success yo! Success is really a relative term. You can't help people define success the way you want to. People helm and naivigate their own lives. You can't force or impose your idea of success onto them. It might just impede their capabilities and deny them of tasting their version of victory!

hoping for a better tomorrow

cheers&love

2009-06-21T13:00:00.002+08:00

Faith convinces ordinary people to do extraordinary things in hellish times because they believe they are not alone. God is with them. And it is thus, that Faith - above all things - can and will be out Deliverance from Evil.

~adapted from Broader Perspectives: the 7 virtues.

2009-06-20T23:25:00.002+08:00

(:(:(: he's so cute k.

link attached to picture

2009-06-20T22:50:00.002+08:00

You Do It All, Everything

*if I lay here, if I just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world.

For all that's worth, I'm prepared.

Sometimes, I just don't get it. I don't understand the way the world works, how some people live, how others lead their lives. I don't quite understand the dynamics of people's minds, the way we each feel, how love works wonders and how miracles can happen. Not that I don't believe in miracles, I do actually! Just that why isn't it now. Why aren't there miracles in my life? Seemingly so. I guess, perhaps, I'm blind. Maybe my life's a perfect miracle, just that I'm unable to see it. I wonder why.

According to the reowned Forrest Gump, "Life is a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get". No doubt life is full of suprises, I'm just thankful it's sweet nevertheless. I once saw a drama serial ( originated from HKG btw) saying that life's like a pendulum, swinging between happiness and tears. I just wish I'm always on the side where happiness prevails, and even if I cry, it'll be tears of joy. (btw, that was what the girl said to the boy she liked :x)

In any case, all these years, I guess I have been living a bitter-sweet life. Now that God's living in me, life is going to get sweeter day by day. I'm just praying that I'll learn how to enjoy life as it is, no matter how tough it gets. Although I can see something lacking in my life, but within, I feel complete. That's the kind of feeling I wanna have everyday.

So now, I guess I'm just going to study really hard and smart,wait for the 'A's to be over, spend time with my family, think about the goodness in life and anticipate the blessings that God will be showering upon me & my family. Relationshippie kind of stuff...nah, not my cup of tea for now. It makes me feel emotional and I'll just start thinking about lots of unimportant issues that are time wasters! As of now, 8 wks to Prelims! I better work for it.

For all that's worth, I'm prepared.

cheers&love

2009-06-17T18:18:00.005+08:00

Launching Soon!

*I don't worry cos everythin's gonna be all right.

okay, I have officially decided to start a card-making project that I will launch after my 'A' levels. here are some samples that I have tried out:

I'm really excited about it & hope it would be a success! so friends, please help me k!(:

Ahh, can't wait!:D (project launching soon!)

to the success of my card makin' project, 3 cheers!

cheers&love

2009-06-13T21:54:00.002+08:00

For All Choices & Comforts That WILL Be Coming... ...

WORK HARD WORK HARD WORK HARD WORK HARD WORK HARD

PLEASE KICK MY ASS IF NEED BE PLEASE KICK MY ASS IF NEED BE

I'M NOT GIVIN' UP NO I'M NOT GIVIN' UP NO I'M NOT GIVIN' UP NO

WE CAN DO IT WE CAN DO IT WE CAN DO IT WE CAN DO IT WE CAN

I CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT I CAN

TRUST GOD TRUST GOD TRUST GOD TRUST GOD TRUST GOD TRUST

in God & I I'll trust(:

2009-06-12T17:51:00.002+08:00

Now & Never

*no, life's not all that smooth sailing you know.

it's knock out time! but not for me, you'll have to payback big time:P

As depressing as it can get, I'm not going to let the mids bring me down! NEVER! I wanted God to bring me home where I know it'll be safe and pleasant, but NO WAY am I going to take the easy way out. Who said JC was gonna be easy? Who said I would emerge victorious always in terms of results? No one promised me. I can only promise God that I would do my best & today, I'm gonna promise Him that I won't cheat Him & I won't deceive myself further. There's nothing that can stop me now from earning my 90. NOTHING. With God, ALL things are indeed possible. Today, I have received God back into my life!

The journey ahead is tough. Nobody told me it was gonna be easy or pleasant. But I know, only the committed will eventually claim the prize. There is only 4.5 months left & I'm sure miracles will happen in my life. All I have to do is to enjoy revising and studying & trust God for what He's worth!

To clinching of 90 pts in November '09!

cheers&love

2009-06-01T20:26:00.002+08:00

Those Dreams...

*blink, & blink again

omg, I just found out the truckload of June hol homework I need to complete! dammnn iitt!

Anw, KEEP THE END IN MIND(: oh well, just gotta keep looking and moving forward. I'm thankful I have tuition; at least that forces me to study for a bit:/

Anw, 'Much Ado About Nothing' @ Fort Canning yesterday! whippee!(: I wasn't expecting it to be a romantic comedy so I enjoyed quite a bit, & thank you Jac for explaining some parts to enhance my understanding of the play. Yay, another Shakespearean Play down. Now let's see: I've studied Macbeth in Secondary School, watched Julius Caesar in 2006, Studied Othello & King Lear in 2008/9, watched A Winter's Tale in March 09 and Much Ado About Nothing on the last day of May 09. I hope I get the opportunity to watch other plays properly. haha(: By the way, we all saw Nathaniel Ho, Michelle Chia & her husband/boyfriend (his name kind of slipped my mind, sorry abt that), Andrea D' Cruz and Dick Lee! coolios mann!:P

Okay, now it's time to get to work huh?:/ I'll be having GP class @ 0930h tmrw; I don't know why but I enjoy studying GP. oh wells, gotta figure out how to get my ass back home from Thomson O.O toodles

It hurts to have won everything & lose everything at the same time.

~ Michelle Branch's 'Goodbye to You'.

cheers&love

2009-05-26T13:53:00.002+08:00

And Everytime I See You In My Dreams

*you're haunting me, i guess i need you baby

MYEs ARE OVER & DONE WITH! RA preped talked us again @ the gallery. C'mon A1, we can do it yo!(:

I just find it amusing how people fall in love so easily. Is love really easy to fall into? Is it really so simple to find yourself mesmerized with someone? Is it really that easy to be attracted to someone who you think is 'perfect'? Now with facebook and all that, are relationships becoming more superficial in terms of just looks & the looks of the quizzes that you take? Wouldn't it be great if some superstar came across your facebook page & judge you by the quizzes you take and one day email you and say " ...i've fallen in love with you." Do pictures paint a thousand words or can pictures be deciving?

I know not what to think. I half believe in love at first sight, yet my other half believes in a relationship that needs time to grow and nurture. I have always thought that someone would fall in love with me because of who I am, you know like through a friendship or something. (aiyo, like so BHB say all this) but anw, yeah, I don't want people to keep saying "i like you" when they don't even know the real me. I'm torn. I think I need help.

Anw,listen to Laura Jansen's 'Single Girls'. It's quite a cool song. I think staying single is the solution to those heartache boyfriend relationshipy kind of issues. oh well, tooddles!

cheers&love

2009-05-24T13:52:00.003+08:00

It's Not That I Don't Want To

*if you only knew how easy

currently tuned in to Westlife's 'More Than Words':D

2 DAYS, just, 2 MORE DAYS! (to tentative freedom)

I've been lazing around, listened to sunflower's advice to not mug so hard, did a bit of cheap shopping at TP, bought a skirt that was too big for me. lol. currently, sorting out Lear/Ariel/FOC. hurrr, nevermind, do it & keep the end in mind, it's accumulative yo.

Much Ado About Nothing in a week's time, Dad's coming back next Wed, M's Chinese Os on 1st june, ACJC choir concerto on 1st, CY's birthday on 4th, History post mort on 9th, Al's birthday on 11th, Econs post mort on 12th, date with D on 16th, & lots of slots filled with more tuition time. & so, again, keep the end in mind!

Anw, it's sunday today, paper 5 tmrw @ 1pm!(: yay, time to sleep in for a while(:

until exams are officially over,

cheers!

cheers&love

2009-05-11T08:15:00.002+08:00

I Feel Your Whisper Across the Sea

*goodbye to everything that you've done

i just realised how long i have not touched the computer for. omg, i wonder how i even did that.

Anw, yesterday was Mom's Day! I was so glad to meet 'The Gang'. LOL:D and anw, we stayed in the restaurant till 10pm! & we were like there at 630!?! see the kind of talking we (& our parents engage in) hahah.

thank goodness for public holidays. gives me more rest time(:

oh well, but i still got math class later. *sigh-ed*

until next post, 3 cheers to us & the world!

cheers&love

2009-05-04T22:03:00.002+08:00

Let's Just Assume: It's Just Me & You

*tell me if you like it

good timing, Rob Thomas's 'Lonely No More' currently playing on my WMP. hahah!

& so coincidently my 3 beloved homies decided that school was a bane to their existence. I survived school w/o them! omg, I miss them. It feels kind of funny not having them around really): anw, I hope the 3 of them will come tmr(:

Anw, school was not that bad today. Suprisingly, I kind of not sleepy now. I feel like I'm gonna love studying all my heart until MYEs are over. Then the whole cycle repeats again for the 'A's. I guess about 2.5 weeks would be a good time to get me panicky and worried about my studies. As ususal, I'm once again entrapped in the vicious cycle of PROCRASTINATION & well, living in self denial I guess.

Anw, I gotta get some work done tonight. I'm not gonna waste my hour and a half left! So I bid farewell to this lonesome Monday & welcoming the beaming Tuesday that lies ahead of me!

cheers to the world & to me!(:

cheers&love

2009-05-03T14:12:00.002+08:00

Where'd You Go

*I just wanna be normal for a bit

Today, felt like any other day, except for news which made me bled deep within.

I feel like my study of Plath has been having a huge influence on my thoughts. everytime I breakdown, I tell myself that I'm strong. Sub-conciously, I feel like I'm on the rise, overpowering others and wanting to make my own statement, just that I do it subtly, and I don't intend to end my life. Maybe, contemplating about just dissolving into thin air, gone with the wind? Never having to feel anything, especially things that are hurtful and makes me cry. I don't wanna cry all the time but things just get to me.

In any case, I bid farewell to this not so cheery Sunday afternoon. back to studying):

cheers& love

2009-05-01T13:20:00.006+08:00

HAPPY LABOUR DAY!(:

*oh baby, won't you stay with me

thank God for Labour Day! got to sleep in(finally)!

Anw, class celebrated Jac's birthday yesterday! haha, golly, ann na, alphonso and some others got her 2 cute hamsters! pictures are all on Mag's blog. Go check it out manzzz(: Hung out at the tau huay stall for a bit before we departed: I miserably went for tution while the rest hung out at some cafe that looked really cosy. gosh, i wish i was there. the ambience seemed pretty cool. must check it out one fine day(:

On hindsight, MYEs are like in less than 2 weeks!?! goodness. I'm really really really looking very forward to the June hols then I can do some shit stuff I wanna do! but there's still approx 33 more days till tentative freedom):

Anw, M's coming back soon. I got do work! ): ): ): oh well, gotta be disciplined now. farewell!(:

'Give me back my point of view cos' I just can't think for you'~ JET

I confessed. Finally. Something off my chest no? It didn't really affect me much & I think I know why already. We're friends, good friends, if I may say. Things shouldn't go that way for us I know and I do believe that. I'm happy, free, joyful & 'sunflowering' everyday! what more can I ask for now in life?! I just wanna be happy & be a gleeful me(:

cheers&love

2009-04-25T08:34:00.002+08:00

I Can Watch a Sunset on My Own

*pretty faces in the parade

I'M SO FRIGGIN' PISSED WITH MY BLOODY PHONE WHICH JUST DIED ON ME YESTERDAY NIGHT!

it was working all right through the day then it died, just like how life's so short, my phone's life short too): ): ): ): ):

anw, i'm not going to care alrd, i'm so gonna get it changed TODAY whatever the cost then i'll get my reimbursement. hurrrr, it's hard to live without a phone. *sigh*

anw, to everyone else's great day ahead, 3 cheers!

cheers&love

2009-04-24T20:45:00.002+08:00

SR OLYMPICS 2009

*for all the times we've shared, for all the crapwork we've done, & for all the sacrifices we've made, we have finally acheieved what we set out to achieve(:

here's cheers to the SR Olympics committee 2009!(:

we deserve lots of rest.

Anw, thank God for the fantastic weather He blessed us with today!(: I cheered till my throat is feeling a lil' sore. had a great time hanging out with part of the class on the field! haha(: & & & CETUS WAS THE CHAMPION HOUSE!!!(: hoorayyy!

Ms R treated us to BBT, Canadian pizza which we devoured for dinner! haa(: fantalicious!(:

Overall, despite some minor differences and hiccups, we all managed to pull off an awesome SR Olympics 2009! Though the journey was indeed short, I believe we've all a shared experience that binds us together as one. Sounds cheesy but I guess it's true right? Anw, I'm glad to have known more people in school and I'm glad to be part of yet another successful event! Three cheers to SR PE dept and the SR Olympics comm! love you guys(:

cheers&love

2009-04-18T15:04:00.002+08:00

It's A Beautiful Day

*the sky falls, am I turning gray?

Perspectives

Changes

Life

Brighter?

sometimes, in life there's got to be changes made to mindsets.

conventional, traditional way to thought won't get us far i believe

I feel different, so much freeier, much more happy.

I find myself being myself

I think I just might fall in love with myself(:

rock on world!

cheers&love

2009-04-12T13:02:00.002+08:00

These Are the Volcanoes

*I can't explain the way I feel

happy easter sunday everyone!(:

there's just so many things i feel like saying but nothing's coming out from my heart nor my mouth. sometimes i guess there really isn't any need to say anything cos things are self explanatory.

cheers&love

2009-04-09T21:02:00.002+08:00

Chasing Insights
*it could be you or it could be me, watching as they come.

got my pw results today. couldn't be more glad than anyone else!(: anw, many cheers to those who got their well deserved 'A'(: & now I'm on my way to retrieve my remaining 80 points!

wanted to play ball today, but had sr olympics duty to follow up on): next week's gonna be hellish I presume. *sigh* econs essay test on tuesday followed by gp essay test the following week. the school's giving me hell, omg.

a disappointing match for school's soccer players): even I get affected. anw, they did so well in their match with ACS(I) but oh well, stuff like that happens. i just hope that their morale ain't affected that badly. they got to know that the school's watching their backs in their last match against VJ next tues.

There is a great deal of uncertainties in life you know. sometimes, what you think might happen may not actually happen & you start cursing & swearing like nobody's business. *sigh* sidenote: if I'm not making any sense in what I'm writing, please pardon me for I'm bloody tired. Anw, what seems like a losing end, may turn out to be a new beginning, full of possibilities. It works the same for every genre in life does it not? from studies to relationships, anything can happen. we determine what happens in out lives. we are the masters of our art piece. we are the captains of our unique, individualistic lives. whether we choose to fall in love or whether we choose to work hard for the things that we desire, it all boils down to US.

cheers&love

2009-04-02T22:13:00.002+08:00

02 April 2009
*some guys are just bastards in their own way. don't give a damn about them. oh heck.

School seem quite all right till the RJ PRCs trashed my SR soccer team 1-0): damn itttttttt!):

& SR Olympics is just adding pressure on my whole being! wahuhuh.

Sometimes, friends are just so difficult to make! they claim to be sociable and all but what I really think is that they choose who they wanna be friends with. Like with the cool & those with the funk. LOL. They don't wanna be friends with a b**** with a big fat arse whose looks can't match up with their idea of perfection. oh WTH. Anw, with all these superficiality around, how's the world gonna be a better place. So much for all the crap about "inner beauty". Pardon me for my imprudence. I guess the world hust boils down to appearance, that's reality smack in your face. But c'mon lah, who's perfect in this world?! You mean to say you're perfect? oh my goodness, NO! NO! NO! so what if you think you're gorgeous & hot & all that I'm so not? So what if you think you're cool & suave & many girls think you're bloody cute/handsome? haiyo, this place is seriously screweddddd): in any case, I can't be bothered anymore lah. I've got better things to do like study & getting my deserved rest! hahah. so, goodbye to the this very annoying & upsetting thursday!

cheers&love

2009-03-27T18:53:00.002+08:00

Keeping The End In Mind
*the art of sunflowering began with juli & me(:

there's nothing better in life than having a packet of peel fresh pink guava juice in one hand & meeting your sister while meowing after a cat! lol.

Anw, school was technically very brief today & I thank God so much that there wasn't any econs tutorial/lect today or i would have killed myself mannxxx. Anw, Suchen Christine Lim came down today for an interesting session with the h2 lit kids. hahahah(: she's so funnily cute! In any case, I came to the conclusion (with al) that actually whatever we're writing for our exams are relevant & appropriate according to the "there are no wrong answers in Lit" theory ( which is totally bull**** by the way) & so why should there be the need for mark schemes & grades?! omg, this is so totally screweddddd. ughhhh.

On a lighter note, tmrw's gonna be fun watching "A Winter's Tale" @ the Esplanade! hah! rest day rest day(: the whole econs CT review just spoils the entire day cos I can't get to do some serious studying before enjoying my evening out):

In any case, today's really brilliant I feel(: there's nothing better than having a packet of pink guava juice while on my way home.

cheers&love

2009-03-24T20:41:00.002+08:00

Moment of Truth
*why did it hurt so badly? cos this moment's never coming back.

"You just have to go after what you want and if it doesn't want you back, so be it. It doesn't deserve you". ~ Nicole Richie

Sometimes we just have to be thick skinned in order to achieve what we desire. Desires are like dreams. They can't be reached for immediately. We can only hope that they'll be fulfilled. You told me today that nothing can ever happen. I've been telling everyone that there's nothing more, we're just friends & it shall remain that way. I guess today I've realised that I have just being suppressing my feelings. And today, you told me that it would be the end of everything beautiful. Nevermind the ugliness of it all, I'm thankful that I still have God, I still have wonderful friends that never fail to make my day. I must have been so blind to fall in too deep. A stupid mistake. Anw, perhaps suppression might just prove to be the solution to the ways I have been feeling. I just want to hang out, get drunk one night & try to forget you & all the things that I have done that you were oblivious to. Anyway, it doesn't matter to you, does it? You don't even notice, so why else should I bother to be sincere? From the start, I should have known it was a one sided affair. I could have saved myself from so much trouble. Trouble that I found which has haunted me the past term. Above all else, matters of the heart no doubt important to me, but it's my studies which take precedence now. You're so not going to affect me in anyway cos I know I'm grounded & I won't waver when the wind blows.

p.s all the best for your ballet exam tmrw paula!(: love you babe. dance your heart away!

cheers& love

2009-03-22T20:22:00.002+08:00

How Do I Breathe?
*I feel so different being here, I was used to being next to you.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I don't want school to restart! & again, as cliche as it can get, all good things have to come to an end):

I have been overwhelmed with sr olympic stuff & cca programme for wednesday! actually it's not so much about the execution part, rather it's the thinking/planning process that's mentally taxing. zomggg -___- & so, with that, I wasted my weekend not studying. But then again, upon reflection, I'm glad I did something I liked on Saturday night! haha(: pasted photos all over my room! I was jolly glad & stood there admiring my room like it was some castle. Slept @ 3am please. LOL.

Anw, a whole new term is right at our fingertips! 8 more weeks to MYEs): Just friggin' 8 weeks & it'll be June, 5 mths to the big 'A's. scary ehh. But no mountain is too high for me to scale, no valley too deep God cannot help me out. Everything's always possible if you set your mind to it. And note, 'IF'. I'm determined to get back on track this term with my relationship with God & I want it blossom more & more everyday. I want to be more servant-like. Like what Warren Buffet said in his 'Purpose Driven Life' recording, servants practice humility & humility is putting others before themselves. True believers do not feel insecure about themselves, the way they look, & how others look at them. They look toward God & serve Him faithfully to the best of their ability. I want to be like that, I want to be someone who feels secure about my personality and sexuality not because of anything, but really because God is always in my <3.

To all those school-going people out there, have a great term ahead!(:

cheers&love

2009-03-21T16:33:00.002+08:00

I Love You Just That Way
*endlessly. when nothing you do could change my mind.

I felt compelled to blog in another entry, so here goes.

I thought it best to remain friends.
What are friends?
-speaking beings that go through thick & thin with you?
-beings that help you, that care for you, that provide an alternative chatline instead of MSN?
-stuffed toys that sit there & you just pour out everything to them?
-a block of wood?
I think you know it best. There's no need for me to say.

xoxo

2009-03-21T14:07:00.003+08:00

The Celebratory Life
*if I opened up my heart

currently listening to Deepside's "What I Need".

everybody can chop beef, but not everybody can pea(pee) soup. lameness totally mannnxxzz -.-

I was just reading kel's bloggg & she said "Before I go off to study, I ask: Will You Celebrate Life too? (:"

I was just wondering about the ups & downs I've come across, the paths that I've crossed, the, well, mini fronteriers that I've faced. I thank the Lord for His continuous graciousness upon my life & for never leaving me, never leaving my heart when I needed Him the most. I thank my friends, my loves in JC (esp. kel, paula, al, nic & sham) for always being there to listen to my nonsence, to help me out of stupid situations I get myself into, the drama that I've experienced. omgggzzzzxxx, can't thank them enough & I believe that I still have months & probably years ahead to share with them. Yet again, there were times where things, relationships, friendships just seemed so bloody messed up & though it was difficult to let go & move on, it was a great learning experience, a story that became part of me & I narrate it in my mind becos of the strength I derive from it. Anyaway, so much for being thankful for sad moments in life, anw., I'm just grateful for my lucky stars for the luck & joy they've shown into my life despite the busyness of it all, the little joys derived from the small things that I like to do. And even today, I'm really glad that I got a chance to actually sit down witness the glory that SR soccer team brought to the college & the limelight they received either individually or as a team. I'm really happy that I actually felt this sense of pride welling up within me & I my whole being wanted to just give way & my eyes wanted to spurt tears of joy which I naturally held back cos I thought it would be too embarressing to cry in front of so many people. I'm just glad also that I sat down with a close friend & spent time enjoying a soccer match & having a meal. It's simple pleasures such as these which enrich life & make it beautiful. I'm just wondering when we all grow up & be the captains of our own lives, would we still look back at these monochrome memories & relish in the joy that we once led such pretty lives, growing up & learning to be strong with pretty friends? Would we still fork out time to spend with out loved ones, the ones that helped us reach for what we wanted, the ones that gave us strength, courage & support to push us to what we actually want? Would we in the furture wear purple together, go on tea session, reminence the old times & reliving out histories? I guess I'm going to lead my life to the fullest, adopt the habit of celebrating life and as cliche as it can get, spread joy & love into the hearts of many!(: I've got to move on & be who I am.

cheers&love

2009-03-18T13:52:00.002+08:00

Missin' You
*I thought we'd be in love for a long time.

currently listening to Marc Nelson's 'Forever'(:

After a whole year of missing each other & not being able to see each other, we finally met! love you, cliqueeee(: too sad CY, Santi & CF couldn't make it): effectively it wasn't a whole clique meet-up): Anw, we dined @ Crystal Jade & spent 2h 30mins sitting there TALKING(: that's what I like, catching up & spending time, quality time with my best secondary school mates!(: MRT-ed home & intended to watch 'Stardust' but...too tired & that Victor had to make kel & I go to school the following day for SR Olympics meeting -.- damnnnnxxzzz.

Met kel @ kovan for macs! & then headed for school which was like a few bus stops away -.- anw, thanks to SBS we got there asap!(: lunched @ yoshinoya before heading home(: love kel's company! hahah!(: it's gonna feel odd not seeing her & the rest of the week, oh well.

Math tuition here I come! sheeshzzxxx mannnzzxx):

cheers&love

2009-03-17T14:11:00.002+08:00

The One Thing I Try To Hold On To
*& that is you. but it hurts so much i think i've got to let go.

16/03/2009 - BBQ!(:

Although it was a rather subdued bbq (as quoted from al.), I nevertheless had a good time of fellowship with my classmates & friends from neighbouring classes(: I was sad that kel. wanted to leave early but it's good that she have some breathing space for herself(: I hope she's fine. I enjoyed the company of sham & nickkie! hahah, downed a can of Carlsberg & shared the other with nickkie. overall, I just want to thank mag for the hard effort put into organising the bbq! love you MMMM!(:

16/03/2009 - Meena's Birthday(:

I wished my doll friend happy birthday! I hope she had a blast that day!(: love you too doll! miss you much!(:

16/03/2009 - Dad's departure (back to work) ):

thanks dad for the Welch's Fruit Snacks! Rmb to buy someomore when you come back the next time k? hahah! & thanks for fetching me from all over even when it was raining or else I would have come home drenched! :p

16/03/2009 - complexities are probably not complexities at all.

B.O.Y.S = make girls confused children (as quoted from kel). I guess afterall, things aren't complex as it turns out to be. As of 16/03, I aim to be free from the complexities that aren't really complexities after all. I want to just be me, who I really, free from worried & living life to the fullest & burning for God. I gotta start going to church faithfully, I gotta start setting my goals for my exams which I should have set earlier., I gotta start learning how to let go & I'm trying to keep my options opens. I was prolly myopic & foolish to minimise my options. Now that I realised how subdued one could in matters of the heart, I have to learn how to open my eyes wider, see the world in various light before actually deciding which light I should turn on. Relationships I believe are always there right from the beginning. It depends on who gets it first & whether it'll withstand the test of time. Nobody would ever not cross the path of someone who will be your 'missing part'. I'm pretty certain that since Adam & Eve had each other, each one of us will eventually find that so called 'perfect mate'. be patient, don't rush. God makes things beautiful in his time(:

can't wait! will be meeting Brinna & the clique in a few hours!(: so sad CF & S can't make it):
oh well

cheers&love

2009-03-15T17:32:00.003+08:00

There's Only So Much We Can Do

*soul space

Perhaps like what Kel has always been saying, if things are really meant to be, they are meant to be. Many times we can't want things to go the way we want them to go. It's uncontrollable. If it's for you, it's for you & no one else in the world. Love works the same way. When you love somebody, you can't want that person to love you back. The individual has the right to choose. It's the individual's loss if the individual doesn't treasure/ feel the love that you have. It's just a sign of the individual's senselessness & oblivion to something that might brighten up the individual's life. It's a dreadful loss. Nevertheless, we must always keep our options open. When somebody in the world doesn't seem to find you attractive, wait patiently, I'm sure there would be someone out there in the world that would compliment you, that would tell you how wonderful you are. I guess we all got to be patient. There's really only so much that we are capable of doing. We may spend $$$ on the individual, without realising that all these $$$ are just going the down the drain eventually cos the feelings are not mutual. For a friend, maybe it might not be that bad, but for someone who doesn't love you the way you love the individual, I guess it's really not that worth it afterall. How would you know what the individual is thinking of? Maybe the individual's heart/mind/soul is already with somebody else? Maybes, maybes & more maybes. So, we might as well keep our options open. Wait for the right time & the right person to come along. I guess it's not a matter of looks but really the individual's character which in the short run doesn't reveal much, but in the long term, everything you see of the individual is reality.

" do you have a photo?"

"why?"

"cos I want to see you"

xoxo

2009-03-14T23:47:00.006+08:00

The Road Trippers:D

this will be a picture post/update of today's events!

Overview:
1) NUS Open House 2009
2) Vivocity - Nat. Geo. Shop, French Cafe
3) Esplanade(: - Thai Express, mosiac!<3

this was at the nat geo shop(; Jac. & I were golly excited when we stepped into it! it was damn damn damn cool! go check it out(:

I wish I had a book shelf like this!

A lightful globe(:

Jac. & meee(: <3

okay, this shot was at the French Cafe that I was introduced to. Compare the sizes of the coffee. Minw was a single expresso. the small cup obviously. SINGLE EXPRESSO that cost me 3 friggin bucks! heh. but it was good nevertheless!

this was my $5.50 tiramisu!

& this is Jac.'s "cremebuleh"

MOSIAC! goodness, we got captured by the crew. I wonder if we'll become famous!!!(: LOL.

that was the eventful March the 14th with Jac. & Alphonso who met us at Thai Express!(:

cheers & have a fab. weekend loves(:

cheers&love

2009-03-13T08:34:00.003+08:00

What Have I Done?
*Everytime I see you in my dreams I see your face.

currently listening to Britney Spears "Everytime".

FB Quizzzzesss rockkkkxxxzzz! lol -.-

Some results:

You are lovely and caring. You help others and spread out a lot of sympathy. Your life aim maybe is to serve the people. But your weakness is that you forget about yourself, your own needs. All your time is hold back for your friends and family. You are always there for people in trouble. Ready for any emergency. You make a lot of sacrifices just to be a good human. But every woman has her needs, her longings and a destiny. Don't loose yourself in work or curing other people's souls. You will have your own problems in your life. Another problem is that you don't say your opinion when it's right and important to say it. People trample onto your soul if you are always so kind and lovely and helpful. They will play on you. Though you should try to relax more and enjoy your life, you should not loose the gift that was given to you to help others . Not everyone is created this way... You are uniqe and rare!

Natural Instinct

tell us the truth... when you were a kid you played the detective game more than anyother games and you were always the detective.whether you are a private investigator or a govt. agent you will be the top of your field...you have a natural instinct which helps you to understand and look at it from a different angle than everyone else.

What Will Happen in 2009?

You're love will come find you!
It may not happen right away but some time through out the year!

*lol*

xoxo

cheers&love

2009-03-10T12:06:00.002+08:00

I See You Looking At ME.

*tell me why it isn't easy? & I know that I should be beliving.

Common tests tests Common. LOL.

Juli. keeps reminding me not to sigh & sigh heavily at that. she just reminded me today at the bustop that my heart feels heavy. Indeed, it is. I wonder what it's keeping it heavy, for a long time, long long time no? Nobody knows how I feel inside. There are moments of bliss, yet there are moments of weariness & sadness in layman's terms. is my happiness on my exterior just a facade? Even J told me the other day that I always seem downcast & depressed? I really don't know. Maybe I don't understand myself well enough, maybe I just need someone to be with me, to like you know, share good/bad times TOGETHER, hang out TOGETHER. I wonder if I'm already contented with what I have now, with what Life had blessed me with. I wonder why am I in such a massive quandary where I feel like I don't know who I am. Perhaps, I'm missing a part of me, something lacking there that is essential for me to keep on going and not faltering. Maybe, just maybe, you could be the one that gives me strength & encouragement & all the help that I need. But these are just 'maybes'. I have not the guts to verbalise my feelings, but if you're observant enough, through the word I say, the things I do, you'll find something special in your life, someone who wants to be your angel! lol. On a serious note, I was well, a lil' affected by some speculation. I mean, I really want to know how you feel. I want to find out what I actually mean to you. Am I just a 'friend' whom you could count on? Or am I a real true blue friend that could help you through life toughest moments & decisions? Or perhaps, will I become a nobody in your eyes after you've drained me of my efforts & my toil just to show you how much I care? Juli. asked me how things were. I didn't know what to say, so I just pretended that everything was okay. Do you really think it's okay?

xoxo

cheers&love