I See You Looking At ME.
*tell me why it isn't easy? & I know that I should be beliving.
Common tests tests Common. LOL.
Juli. keeps reminding me not to sigh & sigh heavily at that. she just reminded me today at the bustop that my heart feels heavy. Indeed, it is. I wonder what it's keeping it heavy, for a long time, long long time no? Nobody knows how I feel inside. There are moments of bliss, yet there are moments of weariness & sadness in layman's terms. is my happiness on my exterior just a facade? Even J told me the other day that I always seem downcast & depressed? I really don't know. Maybe I don't understand myself well enough, maybe I just need someone to be with me, to like you know, share good/bad times TOGETHER, hang out TOGETHER. I wonder if I'm already contented with what I have now, with what Life had blessed me with. I wonder why am I in such a massive quandary where I feel like I don't know who I am. Perhaps, I'm missing a part of me, something lacking there that is essential for me to keep on going and not faltering. Maybe, just maybe, you could be the one that gives me strength & encouragement & all the help that I need. But these are just 'maybes'. I have not the guts to verbalise my feelings, but if you're observant enough, through the word I say, the things I do, you'll find something special in your life, someone who wants to be your angel! lol. On a serious note, I was well, a lil' affected by some speculation. I mean, I really want to know how you feel. I want to find out what I actually mean to you. Am I just a 'friend' whom you could count on? Or am I a real true blue friend that could help you through life toughest moments & decisions? Or perhaps, will I become a nobody in your eyes after you've drained me of my efforts & my toil just to show you how much I care? Juli. asked me how things were. I didn't know what to say, so I just pretended that everything was okay. Do you really think it's okay?
xoxo
cheers&love
