Why are heartaches always so hard to remedy? Nobody has the answer to this. Nobody but God. Why is it that man has to hurt his fellow man? Why must this pain and hurt take so long to recover? It takes 5 minutes to hurt a person but it takes a year for the wound to heal. Why?

The past 2 months will be dearly treasured. I'll take them with me wherever I am. They say first loves always have a special place in a woman's heart. There's no doubt about that. The 7 month break was enough for me to handle. I'm not angry with you for doing this because love ain't selfish. I hope your Japanese fiancee will come and marry you soon enough. But please don't invite me to your wedding. I'm just wondering now where I am - in your mind? in your eyes? in your heart? or not there at all. Cos after all, we're being reduced to just being friends. I pray there'll come a day when I can call you and say I don't love you anymore. I'm just waiting for that day. But do you know, waiting is so painful?

The watch you gave me, the piece of jade, the one and only letter you wrote and all the animal souvenirs... ... they remind me too much of you, too much. I have entertained the intention of burning all of them, but they are really just too precious to me. I just want to hold your hand once more and touch your face once more....that's all I'm asking for. It's so hard. Maybe what she said was right that I'm lonely and perhaps desperate for somebody to love and to love me. Just that I have always been in self-denial. July 29, 2011 was the day that this denial made itself clear to me.

Friends? Yes, def. I still want to keep in contact with you. You owe me too much, too much. All the things I did, remember, I did it purely out of love. Not obligation or for selfish interests, purely out of love. & yes, I still love you bunnny.

xx